Wolf in White Van

Brilliant.

Although it discusses serious topics, Wolf in White Van is a brilliantly written book full of beautiful descriptions. It's a book about rash decisions and the consequences that follow. It's about growing up and the time you spent inside your own head while doing so. It explores regions we all have wandered in at some point in our lives, but goes farther.

“My parents would have asked the younger me, what do you want to be safe from? After the accident nobody would ask. That was, to put it harshly, the best thing about the rifle blast that destroyed most of my face.”

Wolf in White Van is a character study if you will. After finishing it, I felt like there is more depth in there than I thought. I feel that if I read this again, now knowing where it's headed I will reveal even more layers of the labyrinth that is the protagonists mind.

It was one of those kind of books, that really impressed me with their writing style and left me with a bit more than a engaging story. It left me something to think about, be it for just a few minutes or even days. I love those kinds.

This is a book where a starred review is insufficient . . . I love Darnielle's writing, but I just don't have any interest in RPGs, and that made parts of this story a little tedious to me. But the way he wrote certain interactions was beautiful, and - as one would expect from the frontman of the Mountain Goats - suffused with radical empathy throughout. I hope he writes another novel.

Wolf in White Van is the story of Sean Phillips, a severely disfigured man who spends his time as a game designer for a mail-in version of a Dungeons and Dragons meets The Gunslinger type RPG called Trace Italian. The book is a non-chronological look at events in his life, and how Sean exists (or doesn't) in both his real life and fantasy worlds after his disfigurement from a shooting accident.

This book is much more about the use of language, and conceptual ideas than it is about the setting, character, or plot. The main character has many interesting thoughts and observations about the world he lives in, but we never really get a sense of his actual emotions. They can be filled in with the reader's empathy, but they aren't really provided as part of the description. Perhaps an important part of this causes the reader to examine themselves - how would they treat Sean in real life? Sean is constantly confronted with being different - his disfigurement causes him to remain on the outskirts of society, and he hides in his home where he works at sending replies to people who participate in his games. At one point he is confronted by a child who asks point blank, “What happened to your face?” The reader is left wondering if this frank, blunt approach is any less painful than the way that the adults in the novel try to look away from Sean, or the way that his parents try to pretend the he, and his accident, don't really exist. One of the driving forces of the novel is the fact that Sean is sued by parents of gamers whose children attempted to live out the events of their Trace Italian adventure, and ended up dead or dying because of it. This is an interesting nod to the D&D Satanism scare of the 1980s, with the adults in the novel attempting to blame every bad thing that happens on fantasy worlds and games of make-believe, yet still failing to face the reality of their own situations anyway, while Sean manages to find deeper connections to players he never meets than he does to people he interacts with in the real world.

Despite the RPG backdrop and interesting themes, this is a book that I found myself appreciating more than enjoying. On an intellectual level, I admire the use of language, and I appreciate the themes that ran through the book. But I never really found myself loving this book. It is beautiful, in a way, but it is also disturbing and occasionally (slightly) boring. The structure of the book almost makes it seem like the purpose of the story is to figure out why Sean's accident occurred, but, once you get to the end it becomes apparent that that really wasn't the point of the book at all. The story meanders through Sean's life the way some of the players meander through his game - seemingly with purpose, but never really reaching an ultimate goal. I almost feel as though I need to re-read it to fully appreciate the craftsmanship of its construction and use of language, yet I feel no actual desire to revisit this character or this world. Perhaps this is the sort of book that needs a lot of breathing room between reads.

As far as my recommendations go, I think this is the sort of book that will either be loved or hated by a reader. I've seen this recommended as “literature for a genre nerd” because of the RPG backdrop, but I don't know if that connection will be enough to carry a reader through this novel. Genre readers typically enjoy a book with complex world-building, a dynamic plot, and enjoyable characters. Considering that a notable portion of the story consisted of Sean contemplating ceiling tiles, I can't say that Wolf in White Van had any of these things. Though I also don't know that it matters. I think this book accomplishes what it was trying to achieve, and I think it does it very well. I don't think it is going to convert genre-loving folks over to the literary side, but I suppose it might. I think it is just as likely to leave them wishing for weighty text on dragon flights or warp drives. In either case, I think this is the sort of a novel that a reader needs to experience for themselves before deciding how well they like it. Personally, I'm glad I read it, even if it wasn't exactly a fun book to read. I can't say that it will have the same impact on another reader though. I think readers who tend to favor a book for its use of language will rather enjoy Wolf in White Van, while readers who are more interested in character and plot may not. It is the sort of book I would encourage people to try, not because I expect everyone will like it, but because I think it would be a good novel for expanding literary horizons.

When I heard John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats had a novel coming out, there was no question in my mind that I'd be gobbling it up as soon as I got my hands on it. Darnielle writes the most visceral lyrics I've ever heard, with a knack for cutting right to the pain, whether emotional or physical, in just a line or two. I got what I expected from Wolf in White Van's prose by the second paragraph:

“Every other day they'd bathe me, and every time, I'd feel like it wasn't so bad for a few minutes; and then the heat would slacken the resewn flaps of my cheeks a little, and the tingling would start up, a rippling alarm traveling down confused wires.”

If you figure the paragraph which precedes that one explains what's led up to that point of the narrator's life, you're no expert figurer. Answers come in time, but not all of them. There are a couple of things going on here. The telling leaps all over the story's timeline and it's meant to be disorienting. There are times the reader isn't quite sure when an event is happening or which of the other narrative strands it might be connected to. We're left to attach the pieces with little reference, perhaps echoing the reassembly of the narrator and his life after the accident that is central to the story. And centers are important here.

A little Robert Frost:

We dance round in a ring and suppose,
But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.

There are many unknowable centers in the book, from the imaginary fortress which sits right in the middle of the country and is the unachievable goal of the narrator's play-by-mail game, Trace Italian; to his motivation for the central act of the novel, which may be unknown even to him; to the unspoken feelings of so many of the characters.

It's the search for what lies in those centers that drive us on through the book and drive the characters through their inner turmoil. The answers at the core of everything are cloaked in many layers of protection, the innermost wrapping being the hardest and most inviting of them all: the apprehension of the seeker. Darnielle lays out the story so we can see the ending coming, and it's probably for this reason the last ten pages of Wolf in White Van filled me with dread.

This was cool and quirky. It's a 2015 Alex winner and I think it definitely does have a lot of teen appeal, maybe especially to kids who are interested in gaming/fantasy type things.

It left me wanting to know more about Sean and his mindset? But I suppose part of the point is that Sean himself doesn't know, or can't explain, what happened.

I love the mountain goats music, and was pleasantly surprised by how Darnielle's genius translated into prose. This was a fantastic and totally unique story. The worlds that were built in it were imaginative and charming, and the main character was one of a kind. I would have loved more of Lance and Cassie's story woven into Sean's, it felt like something was missing and I think it was their perspective.

I feel about it the same way I do about a highly regarded albums on Pitchfork. I don't think I'm quite smart or depressed enough to fully get it. As one reviewer puts it, “it explores isolation, creativity and the permeable membrane between outer and inner worlds; how childhood dreams and teenage obsessions colour the infinite expanses of the mind; and how far we can share our interior journeys.” I'll be over here listening to Taylor Swift I guess.

Intrusive thoughts: we all have them. These are those thoughts that come to us, seemingly at random and from out of nowhere, that involve things that we would normally find disturbing: harming or even killing those we love, for instance, or destroying some cherished object, or perhaps, even our own destruction.

???What would happen if I ran the car off the road???? ???I???d like nothing more than to set this house on fire with everyone in it.??????Maybe I should drop this dog from the balcony.???

Most of the time, one can brush these thoughts off, recognise them as nothing more than an irritation, and move on. Some people, however, particularly those with mental health problems like OCD, depression, and anxiety disorders, might not be able to brush those thoughts aside so easily. They may turn into obsessions, become a source of anxiety, or maybe - just maybe - they might be encouraged to act upon them.

This was one of the things that occurred to me when I finished reading Wolf in White Van by John Darnielle. It is the story of Sean Phillips, who suffered a horrific injury that did great damage to his face. While recovering from his injury he created a game called Trace Italian, a mail-in roleplaying game set in a dystopian, post-apocalyptic United States. However, when two people are found dead in the Kansas wilderness and evidence leads the police to Sean???s doorstep, Sean is forced to defend his game, and himself - all the while reminiscing on the events that led him to where he is now.

When Hope first threw this book at me, it was mostly because of the style, and the gaming references. I have to admit, she was right: Darnielle???s style of writing is very interesting, as is the concept of the Trace Italian. I???m especially fond of the latter, because it???s the sort of game I would enjoy playing, but I know of no such games running in my country, and I suppose there???s a reason for that, given how terrible the postal service is here (and I agree with Hope that this sort of game must be played via snail mail,otherwise it loses its appeal).

As for Sean himself, he???s quite intriguing and the reader gets to know him gradually, over the course of the novel. The mystery, of course, is what happened to give him that disfiguring injury. I like the way this aspect of the novel was played out, particularly for the way the injury shaped Sean???s life, as well as his responses to those who see it. I can???t say for certain whether or not Darnielle knew or knows anyone who has had to suffer from a similar kind of trauma to what Sean suffers, but I like the way Sean???s characterisation offers insight into what it must be like to under go something that so utterly and completely changes one???s life at the most fundamental level.

Take, for instance, Sean???s parents. It is implied throughout the course of the book that they do things that aren???t necessarily conducive to Sean???s emotional and mental recovery - or at least, Sean himself suggests they do so - but he is, ever and always, forgiving of them, aware that they react the way they do because they don???t know what???s going on in Sean???s head, perhaps never really attempted to do so, or when Sean tried to help them understand, they themselves withdrew, either from confusion, or simple lack of will to see what Sean wanted them to see.

This was the aspect of Sean???s story that I was drawn to most. I was able to relate to my Sean???s inability to truly express himself to his parents, who simply watched him and let him do as he pleased without truly understanding why he did what he did. My own parents are similar, to a degree, and sometimes I wonder if acting out - truly acting out, doing something so utterly, completely radical - would get them to sit up and ask, ???Why???? Sean???s own supreme act of ???acting out??? (an event explained at the end, an event that resulted in giving him the injury mentioned throughout the course of the novel), is extreme, to be sure, too extreme for me, but it does illustrate the kind of pressure he was under - a pressure that is explained throughout the novel, and which reaches a head at the end. I read it as a cry, not for help, but for understanding, for someone to look at oneself and nod, and say ???I understand???: a comprehension, at the very least, of what is going on in one???s head, an acceptance of it, even if the other doesn???t necessarily agree with it.

These are, obviously, rather dark thoughts - and I think that???s the whole point of this novel, or at least, one of its points. Sean???s mind is a labyrinth, very much like the Trace Italian, and it is only by carefully sifting through the paths of his memory, for which his game is a metaphor, that he can answer the question ???Why???? It???s not a straightforward answer - far from it - but it???s there. It just takes time to reach it. But even then, even after all that hard work, it???s possible that one gets no answer at all, just like the Trace Italian has no real end. Even Sean is aware that the true answer to the question ???Why???? was, and always has been, ???I don???t know???: an inconclusive answer, just as the Trace Italian is an inconclusive game.

For all that, though, for all that the above would normally be an interesting thing for me, would actually rather please me as a story, there???s something that doesn???t quite sit well with me about this novel. It could be that I didn???t like the thoughts it made me think, the paths it took me down in terms of my own memories and thoughts, but I can deal with that, to a degree. I suppose it feels as if something vital is missing about this novel, some beating heart, some throbbing soul, that I think should be there, but just isn???t. Not even the gaming references, not even the quality of Darnielle???s prose, could make me believe that this novel was alive, that it had a pulse, that it breathed.

Or it could be that it???s simply not to my taste. That???s always a distinct possibility.

Overall, Wolf in White Van is a potentially interesting novel, but it is most certainly not to everybody???s tastes. I???m sure there???s a reason why this novel is so highly praised, why so many people love it, but for my part, I simply can???t find myself to love it. It contains so many of the elements I enjoy in a novel, but it appears to be missing some specific, vital spark to it that would allow me to embrace it wholeheartedly and love it as so many other people seem to. Perhaps it is, simply put, not for me.

The story was a little unusual in how it was structured, but it wasn't too hard to get into. The story itself seemed to end (to me at least) ambiguously, like there wasn't a theme that really tied it together for me the story just sort of stopped.

The last few pages that describe the event hinted out throughout the book were really good. The delayed payoff coupled with really good writing bumped this up a notch.

WOLF is the anti-READY PLAYER ONE. Where RP1 is slick dopamine hits of flashy nostalgia, WiWV is dark, misunderstood slices of dangerous nerd culture. Before “nerd” was a term that everyone who likes anything applied to themselves, it was the bully's insult for those who took refuge on the fringes of pop culture. Sean is our troubled guide to this world, and though we won't necessarily like him, we will understand him.

I've read another Darnielle book, UNIVERSAL HARVESTER. I'd recommend that you read this one instead, or just first.