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The star of the Harold and Kumar franchise, House, and Designated Survivor recounts why he rejected the advice of his aunties and guidance counselors and, instead of becoming a doctor or “something practical,” embarked on a surprising journey that has included confronting racism in Hollywood, meeting his future husband, and working in the Obama administration, in this “incredibly joyful and insightful” (Kiefer Sutherland) memoir. You Can’t Be Serious is a series of funny, consequential, awkward, and ridiculous stories from Kal Penn’s idiosyncratic life. It’s about being the grandson of Gandhian freedom fighters, and the son of immigrant parents: people who came to this country with very little and went very far—and whose vision of the American dream probably never included their son sliding off an oiled-up naked woman in the raunchy Ryan Reynolds movie Van Wilder…or getting a phone call from Air Force One as Kal flew with the country’s first Black president. “By turns hilarious, poignant, and inspiring” (David Axelrod, New York Times bestselling author), Kal reflects on the most exasperating and rewarding moments from his journey so far. He pulls back the curtain on the nuances of opportunity and racism in the entertainment industry and recounts how he built allies, found encouragement, and dealt with early reminders that he might never fit in. He describes his initially unpromising first date with his now-fiancé Josh, involving an 18-pack of Coors Light and an afternoon of watching NASCAR. And of course, he reveals how, after a decade and a half of fighting for and enjoying successes in Hollywood, he made the terrifying but rewarding decision to take a sabbatical from a fulfilling acting career for an opportunity to serve his country as an Obama White House aide. Above all, You Can’t Be Serious shows that everyone can have more than one life story. The book “is insightful, funny, and instructive for anyone who’s ever grappled with how they fit into the American dream” (Ronan Farrow, New York Times bestselling author), and demonstrates that no matter who you are and where you come from, you have many more choices than those presented to you. And okay, yes, it’s also about how Kal accidentally (and very stupidly) accepted an invitation to take the entire White House Office of Public Engagement to a strip club—because, let’s be honest, that’s the kind of stuff you really want to hear about.
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I should start doing a better job of keeping track of where I'm getting my recommendations from. Because I didn't even know that this memoir existed until a couple of weeks ago when I saw it on someone's best books or best nonfiction books of 2021 list and immediately decided to add it to my tbr. And this turned out to be such a hilarious experience.
So, first things first, I've never watched the Harold and Kumar series. I was just out of high school in India when the first movie came out and I had grown up in a conservative sheltered household, so I was as much of a prude as you expect me to be. I think I watched my first American Pie movie a couple of years later when I was in college but quickly realized it wasn't my kind of humor. So during those times, while I knew Kal Penn existed and had a vague idea that he was desi American comedy actor, I didn't know anything beyond that. After my move to the US many years later, I did enjoy watching him in The Namesake and House but I had never actually given any deep thought into representation or how hard it must have been for him to do what he did in Hollywood. So this memoir was a nice way for me to get to know him better and I loved every minute of it.
Kal is a comic, so it shows in every sentence of his book. Right from when he is describing his first encounter with the n-word in elementary school to the recent cancellation of his co-created television show Sunnyside, his flair for comedy and hyperbole comes through with self deprecating humor and many jabs at the people around him. I think it is only his humor though which kept me from getting too angered at seeing all the different stereotypical racist comments and micro aggressions he had to face while trying to pursue an acting career as a brown man in Hollywood. I wondered how he was able to remain optimistic and keep an open mind amid that kind of a hostile environment but I guess he had no other choice if he wanted to pursue his dreams. Many of the incidents he relays seem a little funny on hindsight but also showcase how entrenched racism and misogyny is at a systemic level in Hollywood and may only be changing a little in recent times due to the hard work and activism of many marginalized artists who worked to make it better.
It was also interesting to see that his decision to work in the government wasn't something that came out of the blue but due to his values and upbringing and something that he had always wanted to do. While all his Hollywood anecdotes were fun to read, I really enjoyed reading about how he came to work for the Obama campaign and then the White House. He seemed very earnest when talking about his work as a surrogate, the young people he met and talked to about their issues and all the policy work that he was able to be a part of after joining the White House. I was deeply moved by these chapters and could relate to them on some level as well because I've always had ideas about doing something in public service but was never encouraged and also it didn't seem like something I could do due to my very laidback and socially awkward introverted personality. So it just felt very heartening to see someone who looked like me do the things he felt were right and find fulfillment in them.
In conclusion, this was the most fun I had while reading a memoir because even when he is talking about difficult issues, he never lets the humorous tone go. And his audiobook narration is spectacular because it is told in his dramatic showmanship style and I didn't wanna stop listening even for a little while. This was a nice glimpse into the life of an artist who must have been a little ray of hope for young Asian Americans wanting to pursue the Hollywood dream when there was hardly any brown person on screen, and definitely a source of inspiration for those who want to balance both their artistic and activist sides.