You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey
Crazy Stories about Racism
Ratings28
Average rating4.7
In this New York Times bestseller and Indie Next Pick from writer and performer Amber Ruffin and her older sister Lacey Lamar, the sisters banter with humor and heart as they share absurd anecdotes about everyday experiences of racism. Now a writer and performer on Late Night with Seth Meyers and host of The Amber Ruffin Show, Amber Ruffin lives in New York, where she is no one's First Black Friend and everyone is, as she puts it, "stark raving normal." But Amber's sister Lacey? She's still living in their home state of Nebraska, and trust us, you'll never believe what happened to Lacey. From racist donut shops to strangers putting their whole hand in her hair, from being mistaken for a prostitute to being mistaken for Harriet Tubman, Lacey is a lightning rod for hilariously ridiculous yet all-too-real anecdotes. She's the perfect mix of polite, beautiful, petite, and Black that apparently makes people think "I can say whatever I want to this woman." And now, Amber and Lacey share these entertainingly horrifying stories through their laugh-out-loud sisterly banter. Painfully relatable or shockingly eye-opening (depending on how often you have personally been followed by security at department stores), this book tackles modern-day racism with the perfect balance of levity and gravity.
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There are three kinds of white racists: ignorant and stupid; timidly scared; and aggressively scared.
Category #1 produces stories that are funny, although it's sad that there are so many white people who are so dumb, and that there is no motivation for or effective method of overcoming their ignorance. (As Ruffin rightly points out, it is not the job of Black people to educate them.)
Category #2 and 3 produce stories that are infuriating and dangerous. The more entrenched these irrational fearful attitudes become in white society, the more the cycle of trauma, violence and injustice will continue. There is no way to re-educate people who are scared, convinced they are in danger from another group of people. They will keep rewriting the narrative of reality to support their existing framework, because changing it will feel like a threat.
Actually, 2 and 3 probably grow out of #1. So all three kinds are infuriating and dangerous. There is a lot of work to do.
MUST READ!! Or, even better, listen!
These sisters are amazing storytellers. You may actually believe what happened to Lacey, but you may not want to. We have been given a gift - because Lacey is such a calm and conflict avoidant person, and Amber is a comic writer.
I would like Amber Ruffin to write a series of books illuminating various human problems. Hopefully they won't all have to happen to Lacey though, who seems like a delightful person!
Seriously, this book was incredibly effective at helping me understand my own privilege and bringing home the huge proportion of racism that's invisible if you're white. I've been reading some books and articles to raise my awareness as a white person, and honestly, this is the one that hit home the most. I guess because it's so personal. I identified with these smart, funny, nerdy, kind ladies, so the the litany of awful stories hit me viscerally and framed the theoretical information I've absorbed in a whole new way. And this section is going to live with me for a good long time:
Question 1: Do I wanna talk about this stuff with you? Do most Black people?
Answer: No. Because it's a very big thing for us and a very little thing for you.
Question 2: When you talk to us about this stuff, do we get to see exactly where you fall on the racism spectrum?
Answer: Yes, and that shit cannot be unseen.
Question 3: Am I saying, “White people, don't talk to Black people about race”?
Answer: No. I'm saying, “No one wants to relive their traumatic events with someone who may say it was all their fault.” You know?
