Sarah Schumacher

A story about a woman who had the misfortune to be born to a father who actually read a magazine called “Patriach” and enforced the “stay at home daughter” concept. It’s wild, but it’s only slightly removed from your Kirkland brand Christianity. This particular flavor just involved a control freak man who essentially jailed his daughter. She’s in her early 20’s, she can’t work (not allowed), and is literally sitting around waiting for a man to show up to get married off because that’s her only purpose, per her father. Then when she meets someone, he’s not good enough. Her recounting of her depression, and just the thought of what it would be like to have no inherent value or purpose was incredibly sad.

A good, short read on positioning with a list of steps and an overview of how to do them. By the end when she showed an example of her positioning sheet, I felt like it was essentially the business model canvas, but it is a little different. Worth the read if you’re new to this area.

As someone who has read/listened to a lot of information about positioning I didn’t find much that was new or ground-breaking.

This was a depressing read, even if much of it covered ground I’ve read about before.

My first impression was that barely 30 pages in, the demeaning descriptions given of stereotypical hacker appearance, mannerisms, and interests were incredibly off-putting. Perhaps she was trying to add color to the personalities, but I did not appreciate that. Fortunately it subsided the partway through the book.

My thoughts were as follows:

1. This book is extremely U.S. focused.
2. Oh look, another example of taxpayer money being used for nefarious purposes (buying zero days).
3. The Internet + hardware complexity is a double edged sword for recon.
4. The human element (in spycraft) still matters.
5. “Snowden was a low-level admin. The NSA’s capabilities were far, far more expansive than what Snowden had revealed.” - former TAO hacker.
6. People who do dumb tech things (the weakest link) also happens at the government level, but with much more severe consequences.
7. Google, Facebook and especially the iPhone changed the game.
8. “Mike McConnell, the former director of national intelligence, would later tell me, “In looking at any computers of consequence—in government, in Congress, at the Department of Defense, aerospace, companies with valuable trade secrets-we've not examined one yet that has not been infected,” by China."”
9. The reason the US is paranoid about Huawei or TikTok, etc, is because the US has hacked everything, so they know/assume China has too. It’s projection, but it’s also documented.
10. Russian grid hack access is the equivalent of the spiderman pointing meme. Stuxnet was the US pointing first, the Ukraine attacks are Russia pointing at the US. You touch us we do this to you.

An incredible, wrenching story that is 100% true to life and not at all surprising to those of us who’ve grown up like Tia. I can’t recommend this book enough. If you’re confused by the fundamentalist Christian ideology that’s being politically pushed on Americans, and how those women choose to be complicit in their own oppression, this book will give you a look behind the curtain and how damaging it is (and hard to get out), when you’ve been raised with this ideology.

I also want to highlight the dates - the Republican rhetoric and fearmongering was very much present decades before Trump. This is not new, it’s just reached its final form.

"The fundamentalists and evangelicals, now one and the same since the Trump administration, wanted to cast the fallen son of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting as a single bad apple. But he wasn’t a single bad apple—he was a product of their making. Duggar was the fruit of a high-control system that taught children from infancy to suppress their needs and conform or be beaten. It taught firstborn sons would become eventual patriarchs. It gave young children a premature and inappropriate amount of authority over their younger siblings. It taught males are entitled to gratification and servitude from females who can’t say no either to men or to God. Josh Duggar registered no guilt for his crimes because since childhood, he’d grown up with an external moral compass, and a feeling of entitlement to women’s bodies. Remembering that IBLP homeschool groups want to run our country the way they run their homes, I suddenly realized why it mattered so much that I talk about what it’s like in those households. I could tell the public what it’s really like. No female vote. No consent. No contraception. No choice. No careers. Courtship marriages. Stay-at-home daughters and parentified older siblings. Closets. Suppression. Book bans. Harsh discipline. Rigid roles. High control. Shame. As bad as it would be for women, it would be worse for anyone gay. Worse for anyone of color. Bad for anyone except a straight white patriarch … and I knew from experience it wasn’t really good or healthy for them either. We all deserve better." (Tia Levings, A Well-Trained Wife)

Highly recommended for anyone with a narcissist in their life. So, pretty much everyone. If you have a parent, partner or boss on this spectrum, then you definitely should read this.

This book is not about the voyeuristic infatuation with why narcissists act the way they do, or how to “diagnose” someone. It’s specifically about how they harm, and how to heal. It’s eminently practical in understanding that not everyone can go no contact, with advice for how to deal with different levels of interaction, recognizing gaslighting, boundary setting, rewriting stories, giving yourself compassion, and importantly, a refusal to push the toxic, ubiquitous advice that victims must forgive people who will never change.

"When those in power have the institutional authority to decide which truth claims are epistemically legitimate, they can reinforce their institutional authority by recognizing as legitimate only those truth claims that confirm the legitimacy of their own authority." (Scott M. Coley, Ministers of Propaganda)

Imagine a debate professor breaking down everything wrong with American evangelical’s political/sociological beliefs, and you have this book. It’s less about the cultural backstory for these beliefs, and more about the way they justify them using certain biblical prooftexts (you can’t use the same Bible verses to argue for opposite things when the topic changes). He also cites figures in leadership and critiques how what they’ve said at different times contradicts both themselves and their own ideology. The reason for that is the idealogy doesn’t actually make sense from the standpoint of actual logic. It’s all about power and preserving the status quo, which I know not just because of too much personal experience in this world, but because I’ve already read extensively about the marriage of conservatives and Christianity. What we’re seeing in 2024 is the fruit of a very concerted effort beginning with the response to the Civil Rights Movement, but this book is more about the how, not the why. Start with Kristin Kobes Du Mez for the history if that’s new to you. His argument is that all these talking points are just propaganda, so it helps to understand why they need propaganda.

This not a straightforward read. By nature of the topic, many sentences are saying things in roundabout ways because we’re discussing roundabout arguments. And he writes like a college professor with an extensive vocabulary, so I don’t think this book is particularly accessible. Which is a shame, because it’s excellent.

He covers common sensism, creationism, abortion, racism, and more. If you’ve actually read the Bible, been steeped in the kind of culture that claims it, have wondered how evangelicals can justify some of the things they believe, and/or are interested in the enmeshment of their religion and the political right, you will enjoy this book.

169 highlights on Kindle.

"For roughly half a century, conservative politicians have courted evangelical leaders as a means of winning elections; and evangelical leaders, in turn, have framed winning elections as a means of shaping American culture in their own image. A by-product of this transaction is an ideology that brings religion into conversation with right-wing politics—hence the ideology of the religious right. In particular, the religious right is presently under the sway of an ideology that I will call Christo-authoritarianism, since it presses the resources of Christian theology into the service of authoritarian social and political objectives." (Scott M. Coley, Ministers of Propaganda)

An accounting of the emotional roller coaster that was becoming a Christian as a young adult, marrying a young Christian celebrity who was groomed to take over a problematic church, being forced to give up her dreams and agency as she loses herself in patriarchal ideals… then slowly finds her way out after 16 years.

While this tells some stories and the facts of things that happened, it’s more about what the entire journey felt like for her. I’d recommend this book to women who have trouble hearing their own voice or trusting themselves and their intuition, who need to know they are people too and deserve to have needs, particularly those who had or have religious backgrounds. She gets straight to the heart of some of the toxic expectations and consequences of living inside the American church.

Great story, fun characters, and excellent reader/voices for the audiobook. -1 star for the overused plot device and therefore extremely obvious/maddening protagonist bad decisions so common to kid’s books. It feels like cheap drama and it frustrates everyone listening, but this book is still very much worth reading/listening to, and makes a great family-friendly story for a roadtrip with kids.

I want to read INTELLIGENT perspectives that differ from my own, and this is not that. I was curious about the title and had never heard of the author… I made it 3 chapters before I said “that’s enough nonsense.”

Imagine if someone dared to ask questions or suggest a Karen’s kid might benefit from therapy. Now create an atom bomb of that ignorance, lack of self-awareness and defensiveness. And that’s just the preface.

She appears to extrapolate her own (lackluster) experience with a single therapist into a massive pile of bad faith arguments and calls it a book. Again, I only made it to chapter 3, so take my review with a grain of salt.

This book is a case study in how to cherry pick anecdotes. The example that sticks in my mind is when she mentions a principal who doesn’t want to take kid’s phones away because it “keeps them calm.” WTF. Where’s the rest of his statement? Point me to any single school administration official who LIKES kids to have phones in class. She wants to cherry pick? Ok, well I just read about a school district who completely banned phones. And my kid’s school has had to send emails saying kids should never have phones in class. So there’s two, lady, your move. This is the level of intelligent discussion you might have with this book. So none.

Assuming she ever got around to making any valid points I wouldn’t have been able to take her seriously because of the rest of it. Even with the small amount I read she still managed to rant about lockdowns, claims of systemic racism, and climate ("But is climate anxiety—dare I ask—rational?")

Don’t waste your time with this rage bait. I should note this is coming from someone who does not agree with our helicopter parenting, intense child optimization culture. There are things I probably do agree with her on (emotions change, don’t make happiness the goal, for example), but even then I would expect actual valid sources for those conclusions. This book was written purely to massage the ego of a certain type of person, nothing more.

This is a moving, meandering history of a man who grew up with curiosity but little understanding of his indigenous heritage. He recounts dates and locations as he finds his way to information and people, becomes an enrolled member of the Little Shell Tribe, traces the founding members, land and stories, then is able to see official tribal recognition from the US government, which is an unbelievable feat if you have the slightest understanding of how complex and unlikely it is (it only took 156 years).

An excellent memoir to start learning of the personal perspective and logistical difficulty that comes with being a truly Native American in America.

Within the first 20 pages of this book, I felt like I had met my clone. I have the exact same beliefs around defining success by your available free time, and scaling your business to deliver it (creating what Jenny calls a “Delightfully Tiny Team”). She clearly understands the struggles of getting started and scaling as a soloproneur, and this book is packed full of practical, actionable advice (and so many other book recommendations!) I’m absolutely a fan, and highly recommend this to anyone who desires to build a small, sustainable team.

This isn’t the first book I’d recommend if you’re wanting a handbook to better communication, although it’s worth reading once if you like the interesting-stories-woven-into-scientific-studies-plus-practical-insights modern pop-psych way. I’d recommend books written by deep experts before this though, i.e. don’t read Duhigg to get his take on John Gottman, just read John Gottman.

Grab a copy of Nonviolent Communication and/or Difficult Conversations for books in a similar vein that are worth reading more than once and will go much more in-depth.

This is a quick read that covers the food pyramid of team dysfunction:

1. Inattention to Results
2. Avoidance of Accountability
3. Lack of Commitment
4. Fear of Conflict
5. Absence of Trust

At the core it’s another way of framing psychological safety as studied/made popular by Google research. There’s not a lot of depth here, but 3/4 of the book is actually a fictional story about a CEO hired to fix a company’s leadership, so it’s an engaging read that illustrates the ideas through story, rather than pontification.

The last quarter ends with a short summary of the principles used and how they work. Definitely worth the hour or so for anyone in a leadership role, and less heavy than a lot of business books, so perhaps a good initial read for someone wanting to start reading leadership books.

So incredibly timely, and as always, engaging and well-written. He outlines how we went from living and working seasonally, to nonstop work, to knowledge work, which encourages giving an impression of busyness to make the managers happy and, combined with always-on tech, means we’re caught in the trap of pseudo-productivity. The majority of the book is spent outlining practical ways to escape this trap. If you work in front of a screen, this book is for you.

Many of my kid’s graphic novels tell the story of immigrant kids trying to navigate their parents (extremely high) expectations and try to find themselves somewhere inside of that. This is that, but for adults.

Some of Carrie’s stories about those conversations with her parents were heartbreaking, yet at the end she somehow manages to end on a redeeming note, understanding what they went through while also acknowledging how it’s shaped her.

It’s also very much a story of the perfectionist, workaholic drive some of us have, and an honest look at the repercussions. I found her ability to run with anything and do it with excellence, a success that resulted in more work combined with an inability to ask for help, especially relatable.

She shows respect for her boss while laying out the issues underneath, slowly, as she started seeing them. It’s so hard to describe this book… but we’ve been on a Miyazaki kick lately, and it makes me think of the villains-not-villains, the fluidness with which he shows the flaws in both people and systems.

If you’re the child of (Asian) immigrants, or a workaholic, or someone who works in finance, or someone who keeps putting your dreams aside, or simply someone who enjoys reading about self-discovery or memoirs in general, you will enjoy this book.

A clear, chronological and fact-based analysis of Twitter and Elon Musk’s takeover. I watched this happen in real time, so the second half of the book was mostly recap. But it was interesting to get a bit more backstory on Jack in the beginning, and a behind the scenes look at his role as an ousted CEO, returning CEO, then ambivalent and unwilling CEO. I can sympathize with the type of person he seems to be, and I knew about his ultimate desire for a protocol, vs. a company, but I find it ironic he willfully orchestrated the handoff of his legacy to a trigger-happy man-child with ultimate veto power and no oversight. This is a step backwards, and it will be interesting to see if anything remains of “formerly-known-as-Twitter” over the next several years.

I was surprised to discover that this book is actually delightful, and much more engaging than I expected for something written in 1936. It feels like the polar opposite of the terrible 48 Laws of Power (“here’s how to take total advantage of people with no shame whatsoever.”)

Instead, How to Win Friends presents common sense recommendations for personal engagement with anyone, plainly, with examples from Carnegie’s students who attended the lectures that inspired the book. He explains the ideas in a way that somehow feels refreshing, nearly 100 years later. Perhaps it’s because the inability of the general public to be halfway decent to service staff post-pandemic has me wishing for the most basic manners. Either way, there’s clearly a reason this has been a best seller for so long, and I’m a little disappointed I blew it off until now. Unlike some of the more obnoxious classics, this one is certainly worth reading.

A fiery sequel to her book, Self-Compassion, this book is about harnessing the yang energy frequently denied/discouraged in women. The author covers all aspects of life, and it would be an excellent read for someone who needs encouragement to stand up for themselves.

She speaks deftly on the challenges faced by women in the workplace. She emphasizes the need for yin/yang (feminine/masculine) energies to be balanced in individual people (vs genders), and specifically outlines how viewing men as agentic and women as communal creates unwinnable situations for many women.

I wanted to read this before watching Miyazaki’s movie, and now that I’ve seen the movie… the book is unequivocally better. I’d actually recommend watching the movie first, otherwise it’s disappointing. The book is excellent and a completely different storyline. My only complaint is the plot is a bit disjointed or hard to follow on a couple points, but it’s still worth reading.

One chapter in, and the writing is redundant and… irritating, like the author is trying really, really hard to convince me this is the most brilliant guy/concept/book ever written. It’s really weird to start a book by saying (and I paraphrase) “the name on the cover isn’t the guy that actually wrote this - it’s me! And he thinks it’s better than if he’d written it!” I get what he’s going for, but also… weird.

My 9yo insisted this book was hilarious and I should read it with him. He was correct. The concept is a blast and we thoroughly enjoyed the multiple mini adventures of this happy-go-lucky character that inadvertently teaches basic cooking techniques. I’d also recommend the Chronicles of Claudette by Jorge Aguirre.