Ywa

“I'd say we're both pretty fucked up.” “Very true.”

Wesley Rush was the most disgusting womanizing playboy to ever darken the doorstep of Hamilton High... but he was kind of hot. Maybe if you could put him on mute... and cut off his hands... maybe—just maybe—he'd be tolerable then. Otherwise, he was a real piece of shit. Horn dog shit.

At first, I wanted to give it a 2 star rating because I flew through it. But, the more I think about what I read, the more infuriated I get.

First of all, I can't make peace with Nora's ridiculous and disturbing reactions. She is terrified by Patch, yet she is so passive to the danger he poses. She does make a few weak attempts to convince her teacher to let her switch partners, but that's it. She's like

Nora: I don't want Patch to be my partner because he makes me feel uncomfortable.Teacher: No can do.Nora: But...Teacher: Hush, hush, now. By the way, you also have to tutor him.Nora: Okay.

Slap across the face

I'm not sure how I feel about this conclusion. I suppose it was rather underwhelming. But I still had fun with this, overall. I realize this series has a lot of flaws, nonetheless there are plenty of good things about it too and Armstrong will definitely be on my radar from now on.

P. S. I want to know why they put a white girl with bright eyes on the other covers, when the main character is 3 quarters Native.

Well this was a surprise. I've had this book on my TBR for years but I kept avoiding it because of the terrible original cover and the summary on Goodreads. It really sounds awful. Worse than most blurbs for YA books. But I couldn't decide what to read because I wasn't in the mood for anything so I picked a random number from my TBR and this was what I got.

Overall, I enjoyed this book. It was a lot of fun. I liked the writing, the characters (for the most part) and their sarcasm and banter, I also enjoyed the action, the pacing was great. I just flew through it. Unfortunately the good was overshadowed at times by some things I didn't like at all. You can guess it, double standard regarding sex, love triangle (team Hunter all the way), lack of shock and doubt when a regular human being is faced with supernatural beings and events and some really stupid decisions on behalf of the heroine. YA is basically plagued by these so I can't say I was taken by surprise. Otherwise, very entertaining book.

I stayed up until 4 AM to finish it even though I knew it was Monday and I had to be at work in a few hours. But I couldn't stop reading. The book was fast-paced, griping and eerie. It's not a perfect book, I was pretty skeptical during the first few chapters, but after that I couldn't put it down. I probably shouldn't have read it in the dark (Kindle Paperwhite) as it was much too creepy. When I went to the bathroom I kept expecting something to jump at me from the shadows :))).

“Me Before You” is probably 2016's most hated book. People love to hate it. When it came out it got nothing but rave reviews but because of the movie and the protests against it there's so much negative publicity surrounding it now. I actually understand people's objections to it, however, my experience with it, when I read it years ago, was completely different. I perceived the plot and the characters quite differently. I would have loved to see all these people's reactions to the book if a movie hadn't come out and the media hadn't blacklisted it. I feel like their opinion is already set even before they pick up the book.

My opinion on it has slightly changed after reading a review of it by a disabled blogger. She gave a very respectful, level-headed opinion which made me understand why certain aspects of can be seen as very problematic and I think it's fair that they are debated and questioned, but, overall, I still think people are being unfair and overly visceral about this book.

It basically all comes down to the ending and how you interpret it. People who are enraged by it see it as hateful ableist. I see it as an individual's rightful choice of ending their pain when they feel, beyond any doubt, that they can't stand any more of it. I also didn't see Will as just a tool in Lou's development, I saw him as his own person. I thought the message was that sometimes love doesn't conquer all and can't fix everything. I don't think it's ok to see it as a message directed to the entire disabled community, I don't think it was intended that way, but hey, it's just my opinion. But, because of the lack of representation of the disabled community in the arts, I do understand why people chose to see it this way.

“When we dance the earth trembles. When our steps fall on the earth we feel the shudder of life beneath us, and the earth feels the beating of our hearts, and we become one with the earth. We shall not sever ourselves from the earth. We must chant our being, and we must dance in time with the rhythms of the earth. We must keep the earth.”

A beautiful little collection of meditations reflecting on humans' relationship with and impact on nature from the perspective of a Kiowa elder deeply connected to his ancestor's values.

Two girls walk past in gargantuan heels and dresses so tight that their skin is spilling out, and one of them says to the other, “Wait, who the fuck is Lewis Carroll?” and in my imagination I pull a gun out of my pocket, shoot them both, and then shoot myself.

Charlie is ignored by both his parents and his sister after he leaves the hospital. Everybody ignores that Tori found her brother trying to commit suicide and spends her weekends never getting out of bed but this is also not explored any further.

This novella focuses on Tori's brother Charlie and Nick after they've begun dating. It was better because it doesn't revolve around Tori (thank God) but it didn't make me excited to read the graphic novel that's based on them. I just saw a lot of poor communication and possibly a severe case of codependency between them?

It was a quick, enjoyable read, despite describing a depressing episode in the narrator's life. I can't say I could relate that much to our heroine or to the subject matter, but I still found comfort in some familiarity, the characters felt like people I could know. I was also grateful it got me out of one of the worst reading slumps I've had in a good while.

Merged review:

It was a quick, enjoyable read, despite describing a depressing episode in the narrator's life. I can't say I could relate that much to our heroine or to the subject matter, but I still found comfort in some familiarity, the characters felt like people I could know. I was also grateful it got me out of one of the worst reading slumps I've had in a good while.

I haven't seen Wendell for two weeks—I'd assumed his being out of the office meant that he was on vacation, maybe even at the cabin from his childhood with his large extended family. I had imagined all of his siblings and nieces and nephews I'd discovered online and tried to picture Wendell with them, goofing around with his kids or kicking back with a beer by the lake.

I had to go back to read it again to make sure I'm not missing something. The answer is nope, I still stand by mind original opinion.

Look I get it, the idea is appealing. Psychologist weaves patient stories with ones about her own development. She also seems like she cares a lot about her patients. However, a lot of things she said make me feel like she talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk. On the surface she preaches a lot of the good principles of counseling. She is a strange combo of someone who knows all the good principle yet is ignorant of them at the same time. Sometimes she seemed genuine. Other times all I could see insecurities fueling extreme behaviors.

In practice, her thought processes and behavior are rather dubious. And not because she can't have faults, she's only human after all but because she lacks of self-awareness at an alarming level for someone of her age and job specialty.

1. She's too proud of using the term ‘idiot compassion'. Firstly, it's an offensive, arrogant term. Secondly, it's not in good taste for professionals to get used to using this word. Most people didn't go to school to understand the ‘wise compassion' so don't be so cocky about it. There are several examples where her arrogance flares up but this one was really grating. Also insert here some humble bragging. Job in Hollywood as a TV writer right after college. Drops of said job and enrolls to become a doctor. Drops medical school to become a writer. Enrolls to become a therapist. Makes baby to raise alone. How many people can relate to uprooting your life and go chasing after your dreams on a whim without little fear of where the money is coming from? Did I mention she went both times to Ivy League schools?

2. Her relationship with her ex. There's no prescription on how to deal with a break-up but the way she wrote about doesn't paint a good picture. Presumably she's had some time to process it by the time she wrote this book yet it's clear she's still very much bitter about it and keeps trying to paint it as a bad guy while taking very little responsibility. In the beginning she keep's calling him a sociopath and throughout the book she keeps referring to him as “Boyfriend”. I kept waiting patiently for her to come around and give us more details about their relationship so it would be more obviously why she was so angry at him but she's stingy with the details. I can't remember exactly what she said but there was a point when she was talking about him when I realized it was never about him at all. Their relationship was all about her, that's why he doesn't even deserve even a fake name, he's just ‘boyfriend' and he existed to complete her. I found out she even wrote a book about settling for the ‘good enough' guy, which is very telling in itself. This is a part of her life she encountered great difficulties and she doesn't seem ready to accept she might have so deeply rooted issues over it. At some point she acknowledges, following her therapy with Wendell that she was in denial about her failing relationship with her ex yet she brushes of this so quickly. It was strange to this being wrapped up in a couple of paragraphs when she dedicated so space to it in the beginning.

3. Boundaries. Her boundaries are compromised and there's no acknowledgement about that. She cyber-stalks people, scouring for info. She googles obsessively her ex, her therapist and his family, her patients. Who knows how many other people she's done this to. It's not about being curious. It's about realizing that it can become a sickening habit that's not healthy to fuel. What she's doing is not benign. Also it's connected to her over-the-top need to connect to people. To know them even when it's not her right to know. There's no good reason to research Wendell's private life. Or her patients. She gets lost in train of thoughts that frankly scare me. She mentions picturing her therapist on vacation with his kids and their cousins. She pictures patients in their private moments. Her reaction to Wendell's office and look makeover was so out of proportion. She feels entitled to do this all in the name of connecting to people. No it's not connecting. It's overwriting boundaries that need to be there for a reason. You're not entitled to invade people's privacy because you feel like it.

There's a conversation she had with Wendell that made me worried that most of the accounts in the book might be fake. First, he tells her it's OK she stalked him on Google. Not even a slight hesitation. Then offers to dance with her. Really? What sane therapist blurs the lines like that? Doctor-patient rules exist for a reason. Patients you are currently treating are not your friends. Doctors are discouraged from treating their families and close friends. Why? Because it's dangerous and unethical.

There is either an obvious problem with how therapist's get their license in Hollywood or she made up that conversation. I missed it the first time but this time it jumped out reading it.

5. She is all but consumed about the possibly that people might not like her. She obsesses whether her therapist likes her, she even asks him, the same with her patients. And probably the reason why at her age she still doesn't have a stable relationships. So why would I, an average Joe, want to be treated by someone who has this huge issue with validation. Her need to be liked might interfere with a patients treatment so much that she might screw them up even more.

4. Her relationship with her patients. She researches them on Google, she crosses boundaries over and over in the ways she relates to them. She compares a patient's trauma of dying of cancer with her being dumped. Yeah, each person's suffering is valid and important but why would make someone's dying about you breaking up with someone you dated for two years. Tone-deaf dick move. There is some nuance in suffering. I wouldn't encourage people to feel like it's ok to lose their mind because they couldn't afford that Gucci bag. She also obsesses over the idea of being seen by her patients out of the office. She has these hard rules about what to say, what to buy in public just in case one of her patients might see her and drop her as their counselor. I'd think this level of paranoia needs to investigated.

4. Another thing that made me question again the validity of the memoir was her patient John. She describes John as a narcissist. She actually makes it his diagnosis. Later, we discover he is like that because he went through a trauma and becomes a better man over night. Which is it? Being a narcissist doesn't really fit into the all consuming guilt John felt. Either his story is made up or this therapist's assessment skills are bullshit.

No every book is for everyone. I personally couldn't get passed the reg flags in here. For me her professionalism is questionable because A. she needs to attend more therapy herself because she's still not in a good place in quite a few important aspects or B. this book was mostly made up and written just as a cash grab since she spent the advance for another book she didn't end up writing and therefore owing the publisher a lot of money. But if it gets people to feel less lonely and into therapy it's all good. Hopefully they'll get a doctor who's as caring as she is but way less of a mess, who respects healthy boundaries.

Original review.

Follow your envy - it shows you what you want.

We tend to think that the future happens later, but we're creating it in our minds every day. When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. Peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.Don't judge your feelings; notice them. Use them as your map. Don't be afraid of the truth.Avoidance is a simple way of coping by not having to cope.The opposite of depression isn't happiness, but vitality.In therapy we aim for self-compassion (Am I human?) versus self-esteem (a judgment: Am I good or bad?).

The prose was relaxing and meditative, it's very readable. It was quite nice when they were in the forest foraging and cooking mushrooms as I was listening to this unfold in the audiobook while I was cooking mushrooms on my stove (I alternated between the audio and the paperback). I enjoyed the descriptions of the foods they were eating in general because I'm a foodie and Japanese cuisine is one of my favorites.

However, at the end of the book, my peace was disrupted when she confessed. Had they stayed platonic, it would have worked better for me as I can't buy it that they're a suitable romantic pairing since she sounds younger than 37 and he has grandad vibes being almost seventy in age and spirit. The fact that they used to be teacher and student gives me, even more, indigestion. On top of it all, he keeps bringing up his ex-wife like she's still a central part of the story for him. I understand why they would become friends as they're both strange and antisocial so they are quite lonely, however, the romance part felt out of nowhere and it transformed into an uncomfy dynamic.

At one point he mentions something like “what a lovely girl you are Tsukiko”, with emphasis on the girl. Why is he calling a grown woman a girl unless he somehow still sees her as his high school student? He does often remark on how she used to be in school so that the past is not too far in his mind. Our parents see us as still children even when we're old, at least my mother does and I'd argue it's not quite healthy, so to see this dynamic in a couple makes me uneasy.

I am a bit disappointed I didn't love it more because it's been quite hyped but I guess it is, what it is.

They would soon realize that The Seep had already infiltrated their city's water supply. They were already compromised, already bodily hosts to their new alien friends. It was through that connection they could hear one another's thoughts, feel the same emotions, overlaid with the all-consuming adage that Everything Will Be All Right, No Matter What. The softest invasion had begun.