Ace Voices

Any book about asexuality makes me emotional but I ofcourse can't resist reading because where else will I be able to get to know more about the kind of feelings and experiences that might feel similar to mine. This was definitely a very good one where the author gave a lot of their thoughts as well as comments from other a-spec people who were part of this project - talking about their fluid identities, what asexuality means to them, how they view relationships and what kind do they want to have, their dynamic with sex and how much it is/was influenced by societal conditioning that sex and amatonormativity is a universal experience and anyone outside of these norms are missing out, and more.

There was a lot to absorb in this book and I feel like it'll be something I'll go back to again and again, especially when I need some affirmations. As someone who can't really be out as ace irl and has certain expectations which I can't avoid, I definitely need books like this to help me reassure myself that I'm not built wrong and my feelings and identity are valid. There is so much I could say because I'm having too many feelings, but I just don't wanna go on a personal tangent in this review. Definitely recommend if you are an a-spec person or is trying to figure out if you fall somewhere on the spectrum.

If you identify as part of the Aspec community or if you are questioning whether or not you might be on the asexuality spectrum you might find this book useful. If you feel like you lack community as a neurodivergent aspec this book will probably feel like you're meeting a friend and I think it's that particular aspect of the book that makes it valuable
I was especially fond of the section on queerplatonic relationships and polyamory, the author did a phenomenal job of explaining how asexual people actually have no shortage of healthy options if they wish to enter romantic relationships without erasing the aroace part of the community.
There's some talk about the impact of the Covid-19 pandemic on the ace community in there which is something I think we will have to consider a lot more in the next several years along with the impact of the pandemic on neurodivergent people, it was nice to see it make its way outside of the TikTok sphere of discussion at last.
There's a rather long section filled with other resources at the end of the book to further add to your reading list, always a nice bonus. This book is also very forthright in the recognition of its own shortcomings which was very refreshing.
I wasn't a fan of the structure for the micro-labels section which felt kind of hazy to me.
There's a couple interviewees whose initials were shown as ND and NT in a book where neurodivergences are discussed it was a little confusing to see people referred to as ND and NT considering that in most online spaces about neurodivergences these are shorthand for NeuroDivergent and NeuroTypical.
I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers in exchange for an honest review, some of the issues I have with it might therefore not be present in the final published version of this book.

I was hoping that this would be a book that could help non-ace people understand what it is like to be ace. And to some extent it can be used that way. But it doesn't really feel like it's for the uninitiated. You have to have some concept of the terms before going in as the author doesn't do a very good job of explaining what the terms mean. Even for someone like me who is Ace, and has explored more of the community than most non-ace people, it got very confusing. I was losing track of what terms meant and how they were used seemed to be fluid. The author does explain why defining terms is difficult and often unhelpful, but the frequency with which these undefined terms are used makes the text feel inaccessible at times.
Having said that, this was a fantastic look at the issues that Ace people face when considering gender fluidity, race, social status, the difficulty in finding a place/acceptance in the LGBT community.. etc. There were topics I hadn't even thought to consider about the struggles of an Ace individual and the different sub-labels.
Very thought provoking, and validating. Would absolutely recommend to someone who is Ace and trying to understand what that might mean for them.