Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant?

Whew.

This is one of those books that anyone who has had their parents pass on should read. It is cathartic, acerbically funny, and true.

I had a much, much better relationship than my mother than Roz did but so many of the passages echo what caregivers and adult children feel when their parents are going through the dying process. Thoughts you wish you wouldn't have, but have to get out else you go crazy.

I think I'm a little in love with Roz Chast. I even looked up pictures of her so I would have a better mental image of her. There are pictures of her floating around with colourful parrots perched on her shoulder (she has three) and another of her wearing a pearl necklace and matching earrings. She has blonde hair that she tucks behind her ears. She wears glasses. She's 61. She doesn't like sitcoms. She's funny and her husband's funny too. I'm jealous of their kids (they have two). Why do I keep reading emotionally draining graphic novels at 3 in the night? I was laughing my heart out while it slowly broke - a funny feeling - while reading this. This is why I love graphic memoirs ([b:The Complete Maus 15195 The Complete Maus (Maus, #1-2) Art Spiegelman https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327354180s/15195.jpg 1658562], [b:The Complete Persepolis 991197 The Complete Persepolis (Persepolis, #1-4) Marjane Satrapi https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327876995s/991197.jpg 13344769], [b:Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened 17571564 Hyperbole and a Half Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened Allie Brosh https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1409522492s/17571564.jpg 24510592], [b:Blankets 25179 Blankets Craig Thompson https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1460925949s/25179.jpg 781193], [b:Epileptic 39916 Epileptic David B. https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1386921331s/39916.jpg 1018527]), they are painfully real. It doesn't feel like they're partially fabricated/ghostwritten like autobiographies. (I am reminded of [b:Go Ask Alice 46799 Go Ask Alice Beatrice Sparks https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327870536s/46799.jpg 2115708] and [b:A Million Little Pieces 1241 A Million Little Pieces James Frey https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1401465768s/1241.jpg 3140930], the book that got its writer [a:James Frey 822 James Frey https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1207412020p2/822.jpg] kicked out of Oprah Winfrey's book club.) They are sincere, introspective and straightforward. I am starting to believe art is a more effective medium than words for communicating experiences when it comes to autobiographies. They feel more personal to me. For me, they convey a certain sense of intimacy. I always feel curious about the authors after. I looked up [a:Marjane Satrapi 6238 Marjane Satrapi https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1303646506p2/6238.jpg] and [a:Craig Thompson 14151 Craig Thompson https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1312311495p2/14151.jpg] just like Roz Chast here. They write with an emotional honesty that I can't get enough of.

This memoir by cartoonist Roz Chast is about her dealing with her aging parents. As the only child of parents who are advancing into their 90s, Roz has many uncomfortable issues to deal with and she handles it with a healthy dose of humor. It's a fascinating look at someone navigating the issues that arise when dealing with the final months, weeks and days of your parents' lives.

Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant? was the best book I've read in a while, but it was difficult. Scott bought it several months ago and I've been meaning to read it ever since then. The topic is starting to get close to home, with aging relatives in both our families and the geographic, financial, psychological, and emotional issues that come along with that.

Being the person responsible for aging and difficult parents sounds terrifying. Maybe Roz Chast decided (or agreed) to present the narrative this way, but she seemed to have no support from her husband or family or friends. Her parents had enough money for the extensive care they needed, but even paid help 24 hours a day wasn‰ЫЄt enough to ease Roz's anxiety and guilt. Maybe she did have more help than she portrayed in the book. Maybe she didn't allow anyone to help her. Maybe your emotional health seems unimportant when you take responsibility for the people who raised you. I don't know.

(Originally published in my weekly newsletter, All This Reading, with some differences.)