Hiding from Myself

This is really a heartbreaking book. Simple heartbreaking. The church has a lot to answer for in regards to the demonisation of homosexuals.
Bryan is a devout Christian, but because he is gay, he believes that he cannot be himself, lest he lose his friends, family and the church he loves. So he tries to change and bend himself into the right heterosexual shape so that he can finally be a “normal”, married and have kids. He tried to “turn” himself straight by working in Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion, enrolled in “ex-gay” programmes and listened to motivational tapes - all to no avail. He repeatedly walked away from people he had a connection with, and nearly killed himself from the pain.
It was painful to read his struggle, how he hides his true self, the deep self-loathing he feels about who he is, the frustration he felt at being created that way ... I may be a straight woman but I relate to his desperation in wanting to fit into a religious culture that demands we behave a certain way, but doing so would mean destroying ourselves slowly by not being ourselves.
The only minus point is that there are times I found his journey repetitive (he comes close to accepting himself, only to fall back into the “I know I can be an ex-gay one day” mode). Still, if anything, this does enable you to feel the exhaustion he feels.