I Must Betray You

The State controls the amount of food we eat, our electricity, our transportation, the information we receive. But with philosophy, we control our own minds. What if the internal landscape was ours to build and paint?

A powerful read. While the writing style was not always for me (e.g., dramatic line breaks), the tone, setting, and realism were on point. Reading Sepetys' postscript, it is eminently clear she researched the hell out of this book and pulled no punches in conveying the truth. It inspired me to learn more about a chapter of history I knew very little about.

I got this from the library and my elderly father tore through this before I had the time to read it; he does not usually read fiction so I knew this would be good and I was not disappointed.

I don't even know where to begin - this book was everything that I expected and so much more. I'm writing this from the point of view of a person who is Romanian, but hasn't lived through the revolution - my parents did.

It is very clear to me that the author has done her research in a very thorough way. There were lots of things that impressed me, that made me smile thinking how beautiful it is to see them on paper, written by a foreign author, read by the entire world. Things like the names of the stray dogs Fetita and Turbatu (which are Romanian words for “Little Girl” and “The rabid one”). Things like the jokes Bunu and Cristian were saying with “Bula”, who is a very popular character in Romanian jokes. This book truly felt like home to me, even though it shows the not-so-pretty parts of Romania.

“I Must Betray You” is a very, very painful book. It shows the history of Romania in the communist era, the struggles our people have endured: no electricity, no hot water, waiting in never-ending lines for scraps of food, being opressed, not having the freedom to say what they were thinking, being followed by the Securitate, not being able to trust anyone, not even their own family. I love Ruta Sepetys for writing about Romania, for making people understand what my country has been through. There are a lot of people who have no idea what truly happened in Romania and I feel like the world SHOULD know.

This book made me cry so much. I literally cried for the entire second half of the book, I was reading through my tears the story of Cristian and his friends and family. How they fought with the communists, how they struggled to survive.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to read about a very painful history, but beware that this book is painful and you're going to neet lots and lots of tissues.

I may have expected more from this book based off its title and synopsis. A boy, desperate to turn the tide of a brutish regime, desperate to see change and be free. What does he do to impact that? What role does he play?

Cristian is a 17 year old high school student blackmailed into becoming an informer. He becomes a “traitor”, and I expected him to be some high traitorous spy lurking in the shadows that makes his betrayal so gut-wrenching, so morally dubious, or something much more high stakes. Well yes, informing on anyone is morally dubious, which Sepetys smartly writes about in her book, especially about how Romania's harsh implementation of surveillance sows distrust, suspicion, paranoia, and fear. Yet, throughout the book I kept wondering at what point will Cristian “turn the tide” or “undermine the regime” through his writing. Where will we see him attempt to manipulate his situation in favor of him and the freedom of all Romanians?

While the writing is rather straightforward to read, I found it hard to keep track of what exactly has happened. Sepetys is clearly a clever writer, with her ability to transition from Cristian's lamenting thoughts to current conversations he's having. But sometimes it became convoluted and I had to go back several pages or chapters to see where Cristian figured something out or what he was referring to (though, perhaps I should've had a more consistent reading schedule instead of reading it every other week, then I wouldn't have forgotten what happened).

I also found some parts of the revolution quite plot convenient for Cristian, such as the Jilava dog attack. It threw me off that the dog suddenly stopped and decided to attack/distract all the agents so Cristian could “slip past” them. By this point, I speculated that Cristian must have died in the revolution and became some iconic hero, simply because of the summary and that prologue. I felt as though the entire revolution arc felt rushed, but it could have been on purpose to resemble the characters' chaotic experience of the whole ordeal.

Hence, the plot direction wasn't what I expected and I was a bit disappointed. I guess I expected more of a spy-like novel, where the heroic protagonist becomes a revolutionary symbol and out-smarts the antagonist(s). Though, it wouldn't have been as realistic, would it? The Securitate is always one step ahead and sees right through Cristian, keeping tabs on him, making sure they always have the upper hand. It's an abusive, exploitative, domineering display of power that Ceaușescu willingly extends to his secret police force, the ones who do his dirty work by enforcing these systems of surveillance among normal citizens. They are the ones preying on innocents, playing with their lives, instilling fear, beating up anyone who isn't subordinate or obedient just to uphold their precious Communist regime. It's a cold reminder that while Ceaușescu may be the one in control, he is, in a way, a “figurehead” of surveillance; the actual watchful eyes of surveillance that invasively creeps into all aspects of your life are his henchmen and your neighbors, family, and friends.

That's why the title is “I Must Betray You”. It isn't simply Cristian who betrays everyone he knows, but it is everyone subjected to this life in Romania. Everyone betrays each other, without so much of a choice. They keep secrets to protect themselves or their loved ones, partaking in questionable acts they wouldn't normally do if they were not stuck in these circumstances.

Sepetys leaves some chapters on a bit of a mysterious cliff-hanger. I'm not sure if I enjoyed Cristian's “I should've seen it in hindsight” or “I didn't know it until...” type of thoughts. I kept waiting to see the big reveal, only to be left unsatisfied. We don't really know until towards the end of the book, especially the epilogue. The ending feels unsatisfactory, and there isn't a specific closure we get or Cristian gets (in-book). But reading Sepetys' last author's note changed my perspective of the ending. Closure isn't what everyone can get in real life, and questions can be left unanswered forever. The fact that Cristian can even seek closure is much more than what others can have. Even if closure is from someone he truly hates, who changed the entire trajectory of his life, Cristian still chooses to do so. The regime no longer controls him. He has a choice, and he can finally make one on his own.

oh...my...heart. This author does an excellent job at bringing historical events to the forefront. Why wasn't I taught any of this in history class? I learn so much from her stories and it awakens so much respect for the people who lived through these times.

I Must Betray You is the second book I've read by Ruta Sepetys and, my goodness, I was not disappointed.

Following seventeen-year-old Cristian, we are brought into the communist regime in Romania during the late 1980s. After being caught accepting a gift of American currency, he's forced to become an informer, mainly focusing on the American family his mother works for. He has to choose between friendship and his life as well as his family's.

The story has a strong focus on friendship and the difficulties of maintaining relationships in a place where nobody can trust anybody, even their own families. Cristian's grandfather speaks more openly about the corruption he's seen, causing extra worry about listening devices and agents breaking into their own. Cristian already suspects someone close to him has been informing on him given how much the agent who recruited him seems to know.

Through his American friends, Cristian is able to get an honest look at life in America rather than the lies the government has been feeding them. He realizes they have fridges full of food, wait in lines voluntarily, and is mystified by the existence Disneyland. What's more, is that he finds a photograph of Nicolae Ceaușescu visiting this place. Meanwhile, Romanians are being forced to suffer and live in isolation and fear. Cristian starts to think that maybe he can start to use his role as an informer to his advantage in an act of resistance.

This is an emotional, twisty, action-filled story about a time so overlooked in history. I thought I was well-versed in the Cold War, but this book has taught me otherwise. I never knew they suffered so much as a nation. The end of the book has a number of photographs and quotes from this time which added a lot of context to the story. And though it was fast-paced, it didn't miss a beat in terms of plot or being able to connect to the characters.

I loved this book as much as I loved The Fountains of Silence if not more. I'm looking forward to reading more from Ruta Sepetys. I'm officially hooked!

How can I put into words how much I loved this book? It might seem like a trivial thing to say everything I found in the book reminded me of half-buried memories of older family members and friends, ibcluding my husband's, and their stories about living under communist regime. I was only 2 when the regime fell, so I have no personal recollection of what happened. However, if I may add one thing, it's a reflection on what has been gained. So many sacrifices from big-hearted people for so little... We have gained the freedom Romanians from past eras so dearly paid for only to feel it hasn't done us much good. Despite this, many thanks to Ruta Sepetys for drawing attention to this little known page of history. This was a page-turner for me and and won't be the last of her books I read.

Wow. This book was so heartbreaking. I could not put it down. I cannot believe that I never heard of the 1989 revolution until this book. It has me wanting to devour history books to learn everything I can about it. This book did its job well in that aspect I guess.

I've always been curious about what life was like for people living behind what we used to call the Iron Curtain. Who better to take me there than master historical fiction author Ruta Sepetys? Romania in 1989? It's a place I'd never want to go. Power outages. Food shortages. Waiting in lines for basic necessities. Lies from the government. And—probably the most disturbing—being watched constantly by those around you for any violations of government rules (and there were many).

Reading this book makes me appreciate the simple pleasures of my life—a canned drink, a snack—as well as the things we take for granted—consistent electricity, freedom to come and go as I like.

Ruta Sepetys is a thorough researcher who has the ability to put me into a setting vastly different from my own.

Arguably one of her best books!!!!!!!

Ruta Sepetys is an incredible story teller. When I got the chance to read an ARC of this, I knew I had to stop everything and read it (shout out to my husband for happily spending four hours with me in the hotel common space to read this). Her knack for finding these untold stories and creating characters and plots that intertwine historical facts - it's just astounding.

This story is quick - it is go, go, go and intense from the start. Readers are kept on the edge the whole time: who do we trust, what will the government find out, will anyone be safe. The twists and turns pull you back and forth from loving to worry to hating to stressing and everything in between.


There are many horrifying moments of abuse - physical and emotional. Sepetys does an excellent job of balancing each and illustrating how the atrocities committed continue to haunt people today.

Beautifully written and heartbreaking. A stark example of all the things that conservatives/fascists are doing now are the same things that Communism did in the past: control over women's bodies, asking friends and family to spy on each other, hoarding wealth, etc. And yet democratic socialism is the enemy...hmmmm.

If you stayed up too late to finish reading this because you simply couldn't put it down, yawn at work!



Oh it's me. Worth it though. God Ruta Sepetys is SO GOOD at ~making history come alive~ and in this case just immediately putting you in the world of the 1989 Romanian surveillance state, how every interaction becomes SO FRAUGHT and so high stakes even if it's just sharing a snack with a friend. SO GRIPPING. SO COMPELLING.

And yet also ultimately hopeful.

Also this is going to sound shady but sincerely: love that it's not very long. She really gets in and gets out and accomplishes the whole mood without needing to be 500 pages. This book keeps it moving just like MY PULSE while I was READING IT, I'm so stressed.

Also realizing that I knew basically nothing about Romania before this. So interesting and infuriating!! And timely too, just that the mechanism of the surveillance state has shifted and grown.

God this book was GREAT.

Getting to read a book that's based on your own country's history is such a unique and wonderful feeling. Especially when that book is written by a foreign author who did such an incredible job of portraying Romanian cultural aspects in such an accurate and respectful manner.

4.5 stars.

Romania, 1989. Cristian Florescu adalah seorang pemuda yang bermimpi untuk menjadi penulis. Tapi di Romania, bermimpi adalah sesuatu yang dilarang, karena rakyat dikekang oleh aturan dan perintah. Di tengah kepemimpinan otoriter Nicolae Ceaușescu, di satu negara yang dibayang-bayangi oleh pengucilan dan rasa takut, Cristian diperas oleh polisi rahasia untuk menjadi seorang informan.
Dia hanya punya dua pilihan: mengkhianati semua orang dan segala hal yang dicintainya, atau memanfaatkan posisinya untuk menjatuhkan sang diktator paling kejam di Eropa Timur. Cristian mempertaruhkan apa pun demi bisa membuka topeng busuk rezim pemerintah. Dia ingin memberikan suara untuk sesama rakyat Romania, menunjukkan ke seisi dunia apa yang terjadi di negara mereka. Dengan semangat membara, dia pun bergabung dalam peristiwa revolusi.

Excellent story about the tragedy of totalitarian regime and cult of personality.

This year, I have read many different books on a wide variety of topics. Yet, like most Americans, I had not learned about the Romanian revolt against their own communist leader. Therefore, I went into this book somewhat cold on the topic, and I am glad to say that I want to learn more after reading this book.

I like how this book helps to show the reader the struggles under a Communist regime. Many teenagers would know that Communism is bad, but they may not understand the elements of suspicion, fear, and poverty that were hallmarks of both Russian and Romanian societies for decades. This book attempts to show this in a personal light that we may not otherwise see in other books. The tension in this novel is also palpable, as we see Christian attempt to get medicine in return for spying on an American family.

I also liked how the tension is increased for Christian through reports from the Romanian government on how he is doing as a spy. This shows the reader that during this time, no one was ever safe. It really helps the reader to understand just how prevalent the situation was for people to keep quiet and keep their heads down.

On the other hand, while I remember the situation well, I do not remember the characters themselves. I think this is because the main focus of the novel is the spying itself, and not the characters around it. The main characters have just enough hopes and dreams to convey to the reader that they will most likely never get them under the Communistic regime that they are currently living in. Other than this, they are somewhat forgettable.

Overall, though, I would say that this is a good book and one that I would greatly recommend. I give it a four out of five.