I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

I don't know what I expected going into this book but the first few pages completely flooring me wasn't it. It initially hit me hard because there was so much about the author's struggles I felt I could relate to, but that feeling slowly reduced as the book went on. While there were some aspects of her personality that didn't make sense to me, I really appreciated the discussions about Persistent Depressive Disorder, the reasons for binge eating, the anxieties over little things, the pressure of expectations and more. I've never gone to a therapist despite my issues with depression, so I did take heed of some of the things the therapist here was saying because I felt had come to some of those realizations myself, and there were some small changes I could try to make in my thinking. Overall, this was a short but surprisingly insightful book, which may not have all the answers, but sometimes even being seen and realizing we are not alone in the world can be powerful in it's own way.

Unfortunately, this book did not live up to the hype it was receiving on TikTok. I remember scrolling on TikTok one day and saw it as one of the “must read” books for a woman in her 20s. Of course, this was a selling point and immediately intrigued me as I hoped the theme of the book would surround the author's thoughts more in depth.

In my opinion, the book lacked depth in a way that everything was very surface level in terms of the conversation between the author and the therapist. I also felt that the author was judgmental at certain points (or maybe I didn't appreciate the advice/replies that the therapist gave). I wish there were instances where the author explained in more detail about how she navigated through everything in a way that would make it a “must read” for women in their 20s.

I have mixed feelings about this book while it was extremely deep and personal part of the author, but I still felt it lacked more depth, I understand this is just part of her transcripts of her sesions with her phsychiatric but somehow I find the whole thing extremely boring, while they were snips of moments were I could relate to her, there were other where I was just staring into nothing and thinking huh this is not contributing anything meaningful into my life. but I think this was only a me problem because of the format of the book.

However, I have to give her credit for not shying away from tackling difficult subjects, such as mental health and societal expectations from South Koreans, with honesty and vulnerability. Yet, even in the darkest moments, there is a thread of hope and resilience that runs through her writing.

A very light-hearted take at a topic regarding sometimes too seriously in society today.

Following the POV of a clearly imperfect woman let's us normalise that no one is perfect and being normal isn't a goal to strive for - learn to accept yourself for who you are. There is only so much you can do to try and change to fit societal norms.

I'm glad that the author, Baek Se-hee, got the proper treatment for her persistent depression and I thoroughly enjoyed reading her memoir about recovering from her mental illness with her psychiatrist. I'm glad she had a positive experience getting mental health treatment in the span of 12 weeks, and now I want to eat tteokbokki for dinner.

2 stars • meh but an interesting concept

I think this could have been an interesting memoir, but I didn't enjoy this one. Most of this book is just transcripts of the author's therapy sessions.

It's an interesting way of telling's one life, but I think it would have benefitted with more regular memoir writing. I don't feel like I know much about the author, like her history, or family. It centered mostly on their feelings. The novel also tries to be part-memoir, and part-self help, and I don't think this combo works.

I hesitate to critique this memoir/therapy recounting because the subject matter is so personal. 
I think the title is an attention grabber, I think the cover is stunning. I admire the choice to be so vulnerable and the aim to share such experience with others who may be going through it, but even as short as it is, the writing felt simultaneously both banal and disjointed to the point that I had trouble staying engaged long enough to finish. 

I sincerely hope it finds those who could find it inspiring, I'm hoping it was a positive catharsis for the author, but I'm also really hoping nobody reads it as a replacement for getting their own therapy/treatment plan. 
 ⚠️Fatphobia 

Glad I didn't give in to the hype and bought myself an expensive book.

I do recognize the importance of mental health and being aware of it but this book just felt unnatural to me. I'm guessing more than half of the book is the author's and her therapist's conversation transcripts, so I wonder, if you wanted to read about therapy, it might be better getting it yourself than through this book. I think the author's short reflections on the end of each chapter wasn't very meaningful.

Maybe this book can be more relatable for others, but it's difficult to be emphatic for me with this kind of narration.