If I Disappear
Ratings12
Average rating2.8
“This new novel has more twists and fakeouts than an episode of Serial.” —Rolling Stone “An eerie, twisted thriller sure to shake up the most seasoned true crime die-hard." —Harper's Bazaar A Most Anticipated Book of 2021 by Rolling Stone • CNN • E! Online • Buzzfeed • New York Post • Popsugar • Woman's Day • Crime Reads • Hello Giggles When her favorite true crime podcast host goes missing, an adrift young woman sets out to investigate and plunges headfirst into the wild backcountry of Northern California and her own dangerous obsession. Sera loves true crime podcasts. They give her a sense of control in a world where women just like her disappear daily. She's sure they are preparing her for something. So when Rachel, her favorite podcast host, goes missing, Sera knows it's time to act. Rachel has always taught her to trust her instincts. Sera follows the clues hidden in the episodes to an isolated ranch outside Rachel's small hometown to begin her search. She's convinced her investigation will make Rachel so proud. But the more Sera digs into this unfamiliar world, the more off things start to feel. Because Rachel is not the first woman to vanish from the ranch, and she won't be the last... Rachel did try to warn her.
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There are different and unique aspects of this book - like it being told as though the reader is Rachel - that make it stand out. Sarah is an interesting character to get into, and the perspective from which the story is told makes it seem a bit more unsettling (which is the point). I did enjoy this read; the ending, not as much, but I still left it feeling glad I'd tried out this recently published book. It's dark and unique in telling/writing, which is straight up my alley.
I think I like the ambiguous ending. It brings the story back around to where we started. I also got major Girl on the Train vibes from the narrator which is frustrating, because you really can't trust what you're being told. But, ultimately, that's the whole point of this book - no one can (or should) be trusted.
I also appreciated the narrator's feminist take on the whole ‘hysterical woman' trope. It really IS exhausting to have to constantly police your emotions, replies and reactions to everything to avoid being labeled ‘crazy.'
I had a lot of fun reading If I Disappaear. It starts rather abruptly following Sera as she is already most of the way to the ranch the book is set on and explains the reasoning behind her choice to come and check on her favourite podcaster. I think this opening scene could have done with a bit more set up as I found it to be fairly unbelievable. Otherwise, the plot moves fast and kept me engaged. I liked the unreliable characters and how it kept me guessing thoughout the book.
The exposition style re-write of the ???final??? reveal was not my cup of tea. I think it would have been a stronger ending if the twist had been incorporated into the narrative rather than feel like I was reading it removed from the story.
Sera was missing something to make her stand out as a character. I felt like we were missing some backstory or character building moments to understand her decisions. I also thought the sudden inclusion of the anti-men narrative was so randomly placed in to the story especially since Sera???s closest friends from her backstory are both men.
