I'm Still Here

This one is kinda touchy to review, so right off the bat, I want to point out that I did like aspects of this book and think it will have value to a lot of people. It was quite short though, and so the things that didn't work for me detracted more because it was a larger part of a short book. Some of the things that didn't mesh with me are just entirely because of me, not the author, so others will likely not have issues with those parts. A few things the author wrote I did have problems with, however.

What I didn't like, because of me:
-I've read a fair amount of books on the black experience already, so a lot of her personal experiences are repetitive. This is obviously not her fault at all, but the relevatory factors of “oh wow, I can't believe she was treated that way” was just not there. Because a large part of this book was relaying those experiences, a part of me was just like, “yep, not surprised” over and over.
-My big blind spot in terms of “things I care about” is the Christian Church. This is entirely on me. Whenever people talk about their church experiences, my eyes glaze over. A lot of this book dealt with her interactions with church, so inherently I was less enthused.


Things I didn't like, related to the author's writings:
- Over generalization of white people. This one is tough, and inb4 people tell me to read White Fragility, that wasn't the problem. The vast majority of what she said I agree with. And she DID sometimes use qualifiers like “white people usually” or “most white people”. I don't feel attacked or defensive. I just think her point would be better made if she didn't resort to weird levels of generalizations. “White people want to turn everything into a debate, and black people don't usually have the time or energy to educate them”. I understand and agree that the main point here is “don't expect black people to educate you on what you're doing wrong”. I can only imagine the levels of exhaustion it would bring to have all the white people around you trying to debate racism. But the people she's describing are just doing asshole things, not white things. I love debating about lots of things, and am one of those people who thinks discourse is the way forward for most issues, but I also recognize most people are usually NOT in the mood for a debate, especially a debate thrust upon them. Not just about race, about anything. So when I want to debate about something, I take social cues and back off if the other person isn't receptive. I don't think that makes me special; it just makes me considerate of how other people are feeling. People who don't do this are being asses, or self-centered, or oblivious, or obnoxious, but not “white”.
That's just one example, because it's near the end of the book. Another time, she mentions how white murderers are treated like people who made a mistake and black drug dealers are treated like sub human. I agree that black criminals are treated abhorrently, but I'm just not sure where she's getting that white murderers are not also villainized. I'll chalk this one up to different life experiences.
-At the beginning of the book, she talks about how upset people get when they expect her to be a white man based on her name. But then she gave a bunch of examples where people were just mildly confused. Names are signifiers, that's just the way names work. There's no law saying you have to follow them, but names do give certain expectations. If she was still discriminated against because of her name, that'd be one thing. But I would absolutely be unsure if I had a meeting with someone named Austin, and a black woman was sitting in the lobby. I would also be confused if I had a meeting with a person named Fatima and it was a white man, or if I had a meeting with a person named Sangmin and it was a white woman. But then I would adjust after a brief moment of confusion? This was SUCH a weird thing to start your book on, it makes her seem like she has a chip on her shoulder about something really asinine.

But that was a lot of writing that makes it seem like I really disliked this book, and I didn't. The things she discusses are absolutely things that people need to hear, and I particularly liked the parts about her dealing with cousin being in jail, as well her experiences in school with good and bad teachers, and also about “nice white people”, because man, do I know a lot of those, and I'm sure I've been one at some point in my life too. I just can't believe so many people come up to her and look to her for absolution for their racist pasts. I would lose it. But I guess that's the point, isn't it? She can't lose it. She has to deal with it, simply because white people can't manage their own guilt.

2.5/5 stars, but I probably would have given a higher rating if I had read it a few years ago.