In My Dreams I Hold a Knife

Was pleasantly surprised by this book - the plot was compelling AND the writing was strong (I feel like with many thrillers, the writing is so clunky or overwrought it takes me out of the story). In this sense, it reminded me of Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll. The twists and turns made sense, but I didn't see them coming. I really enjoyed the experience of reading this - I started and finished in the same sitting.

Sometimes, seemingly flat characters are brought to life when the author gives them some flavor or subverts the trope. I read nearly a quarter of the book and I'm pretty sure an teenage Molly Ringwald fan could write a Breakfast Club murder mystery AU with more passion. Didn't finish because I didn't care.

”It turns out the real you is a quilt, made up of the light and the dark. The life you've lived in sunshine and your shadow life, stretching underneath the surface of your mind like a deep underwater world, exerting invisible power. You are a living, breathing story made up of the moments in time you cherish, all strung together, and those you hide. The moments that seem lost. Until the day they're not.” This book is about six friends returning to their university after 10 years for homecoming. On their senior year one of their closest friend(the seventh member of the friend group) dies, the boyfriend of the victim was accused and released. Now, they are trying to piece together who really killed their friend. Wow. I love this. It's been awhile since I read a thriller that surprised me. The ending was not something that I expected. Jessica, one of the friends who is narrating the story, is unlikeable well to me she is. She is insecure and not a good friend/person overall. She always has to be number one but does not really succeed. The rest of the friend group are all flawed but I enjoyed reading their backstory to piece together what really happened that night. If you want to read a fast paced, whodunnit thriller you should pick this up!

4.5 star“Wanting is dangerous. The less you want, the safer you'll be.”One of my fav thrillers for this year!! A great book with amazing character development. Most of the books I have read which are character-driven don't take the time to properly describe each character but in this, everyone was perfectly portrayed, we got to see their strengths, weaknesses, flaws, etc...What I loved about the book;-The setting(who doesn't love a good dark academia setting?) -Flashbacks.-Even though the MC was Jessica we got chapters from the other characters' pov as well, so it was very interesting to read.-This has happened only once before with a thriller([b:The Au Pair 51200711 The Au Pair Emma Rous https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1565535897l/51200711.SX50_SY75.jpg 59174124]) but the scenes toward the end nearly had me in tears.-And last but not least the love triangle, it's been a while since I've read a good love triangle and I was a huuugee fan of the love triangle in this book, maybe even more than the plot lolWhat I didn't like;Not much really, I didn't like Jessica at first but in the end, the reasons as to why she was acting like that were explained and that made me feel sorry for her.“I studied myself the way I'd done my whole life, searching for what others saw whenthey looked at me.”Overall this was a really good book and I think you will love it if you are a fan of dark academia, alternating timelines, and multiple povs.Go into this with no expectations and you might end up loving it:)

Extreem vermakelijke, moeilijk neer te leggen thriller. Las een beetje zoals een soap, met de onwaarschijnlijke vriendengroep à la The Breakfast Club en de tonnen drama. Fast food voor het hoofd.

Heel slim geconstrueerd, met de alternerende tijdslijnen en het sympathieke/onsympathieke hoofdpersonage Jessica met op gepaste tijden een glimp in het hoofd van één van de andere personages.
Elk puzzelstukje heeft een doel en de puzzel valt op het einde heel bevredigend in elkaar.

Yes! That is what I'm talking about! I feel like I've been stuck in mediocre thrillers lately and I am so ecstatic that this one totally blew me away! The only reason it took me longer to read this book is because I wanted to savor it, I wanted to fully feel every single page deep in my soul. Also, this is the only book in a school setting that left me feeling somewhat anxious and a bit nostalgic for my own school days, that's something I've never gotten from a book before this. I just think this is as close to perfect as a thriller can get for me- from the atmosphere to the pace of the plot and the twists and turns, I will be recommending this book to anyone and everyone that will give me the time of day!

To begin with, In My Dreams I Hold a Knife is about a girl, Jessica, who is going back to her college homecoming reunion, 10 years later, and she is desperate to prove herself as a woman who got it all, even though ten years prior a lot of messed up things happened on campus and her roommate was killed. Things take quite a turn, when her old roommate's brother corners Jessica and her old college friends, desperate to find answers about who really killed his sister all those years ago. I freaking loved this plot! School settings tend to not be my favorite tropes in thrillers and yet this one proved just how good that trope could be if done right. I thought the pacing was masterfully done and I was literally anxious to find out what actually happened all those years ago, and yet I also couldn't stop reading the book. The dual timelines are also masterfully crafted and I loved going between the now and then skipping around between all their four years in college. We also got a few chapters from the other friends' perspectives and I really appreciated that, since I grew attached to every single one of them. I will definitely be reading all her future works, she has instantly become an auto-buy author for me, that is for sure.

Further on, the characterization in this book was beyond superb. All the friends from the friend group had complicated backgrounds and I loved seeing how these backgrounds were able to come together into a rather messed up friend group and the dynamics that formed as a result. We are really able to dive deep into the psyches of these complex individuals and understand why they acted the way that they acted at certain times and what really drove them to end up in the place where they were now, in the present moment, at the reunion homecoming. There were so many layers to each of them and quite frankly, I would have been ecstatic if this book would have been made into a series or if we even got books from any of the other characters that we have read about in here.

Finally, the writing style was top notch, at least in my opinion. It was a bit sophisticated but not overly complex and definitely gave of a rather charming and dramatic vibe, but that's what I find I love in my thrillers. Each and every chapter flowed so smoothly and even though the chapters weren't the shortest I've ever read, the pages felt as if they were flipping themselves, effortlessly. Also, the end of every chapter left with a bit of a cliffhanger and I was hooked! There were also so many deep thoughts and pondering in this book that it's one I would like to reread in the future, to catch what I didn't catch the first time and I NEVER reread books. This book literally moved me that much!

In conclusion, I would recommend this book to EVERYONE! I think that thriller lovers would love it but so would most other readers as well because it left a lasting impression on me and moved me to the point of tears. I believe that anybody can benefit from delving into this story because at the root of it, there are tons of psychological aspects and life truths all throughout it. This is the kind of book that could really make for some profound discussions and conversations. If you haven't read this book yet, what are you waiting for?!!