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With a focus on self-empowerment and resilience, this refreshing and witty relationship guide has a reassuring counterintuitive message for unhappy spouses: you only need one partner to initiate far-reaching positive change in a marriage. Conventional wisdom says that "it takes two" to turn a troubled marriage around and that both partners must have a shared commitment to change. So when couples can't agree on how or whether to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce). Fortunately, there is an alternative. It Takes One to Tango is a groundbreaking guide that shows how one determined partner acting alone can spark lasting, significant change in a marriage, often accomplishing change that cannot be made any other way. It doesn't matter how short-fused, argumentative, or seemingly impossible your partner can be or how long you've been stuck. Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners: Take the lead. Doing so is effective and powerful. Through Reilly's own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients she's worked with, you'll learn how to: -Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage -Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats -Identify the "big picture" issues at the basis of your repetitive fights and learn how to unhook from them -Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouse's provocations -Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative, It Takes One to Tango is a fresh and engaging guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage.
Reviews with the most likes.
“It's up to you to make yourself happy in your marriage.”
I heard an interview with the author on The Art of Charm and was really impressed with her focus on individuality and being the architect of your own joy in your relationship. This book does not disappoint one bit.
Since I JUST finished it about ten minutes ago, I haven't digested it well enough to provide a better summary than that. But if five stars and those words aren't enough to convince you that this is a great relationship book, I'll add this: I can actually imagine re-reading this one.