Milk Fed

after i finished reading it, i realized how little i cared for this book, its characters and plot.

Also, adding this note: though i didn't enjoy the story and didn't like the characters that much, but one thing i appreciated was melissa broder's view on isrel-palestine situation where she noted isrel building a country on the expense of palestinians losing their homes and lives. I appreciated that about this book.

I'm not sure how I came across this book, and I somehow missed that this was by the same author who wrote The Pisces. I feel bad giving it two stars because I think I'm just not her audience.

There's some interesting themes around eating disorders, self hate/acceptance, parent/child relationships that were explored among other things, but parts of it was just so gross it kept me at a distance and I couldn't really enjoy it.

That said, I'm so glad the writer is who she is and writes what she wants how she wants to write it. She doesn't shy away and that's admirable.

I love this book! I listen to it in one day. It wasn't what I usually go for, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked it. I thought it was so interesting. I thought that the main character battle with eating disorder and food in general was so real and I felt it was so deeply connected to my real life. I relate to the story so much and I absolutely loved it. I highly recommend.!!

I feel like I didn't love this book partly because of my expectations. I wanted a book about food. About her mother and her eating disorder. I was surprised at how the book shifted so quickly from this to romance.

And romance isn't even the right word. I love a sapphic read and I also don't MIND sex scenes. But the scenes in here were hard to get through. I think this was mostly because the tonal switch from regular conversation to sex was so intense and went in and out very often. I understand that sex is a part of life but we're not meant to get every detail of it. I think the handful of sex scenes could've been shaved down. It just takes away from the larger topics that didn't get enough airtime. The sex was not profound, at least in its frequency. I know this seems like a prudish take, but I was genuinely not expecting this book to be so glued to clits and wetness and finger fucking. It's barely dealing with sexuality, mostly just sex itself.

A big element of this story is our narrator's mother. The entire time, there's this assumed build to something dramatic and heart wrenching. We never get there. The book ends so abruptly when there was so much more to explore. What information we did get about her mother was (INSANELY) during masturbation and sex. I just wished it was handled with more care is all.

One of my biggest criticism that I know most people will not agree with is how unlikeable this narrator is, specifically in the way she thinks about Miriam. This is a fat woman just minding her own goddamn business. Our narrator literally admits to wanting to “improve her”. Also, I totally imagined Miriam as hispanic for a long time. Even after she was described I was just like, nah she's totally just a hispanic woman with dark hair and a nice smile! I think that made it bearable, making something of my own with what I was given.

The writing wasn't bad, though the dialogue was sometimes awkward. Sometimes it was purposeful and hit. Other times, it fell flat for me and made me eye roll. Some things are not profound just because you proclaim them to be.

memorable lines:
“As I teased, I smelled the faintest waft of shit coming from underneath her” p. 218

“I'd worn skirt and tank on purpose, because I knew that I looked thin in the outfit. I wanted to accentuate this feature to remind Miriam of what I was and of what she was in that old competition between women. If I was going to be vulnerable, express that I wanted her, then I needed to already be some kind of victor” p. 209... because holy shit.