More Happy Than Not

So I'd heard a ton about this book and did that thing I don't do very often and pre-ordered a book from an author I hadn't read before. And while More Happy Than Not wasn't quite what I was expecting, I definitely didn't regret it.

It's kind of hard to write about this one without spoiling anything, but I do have several thoughts:

Firstly, the intersectionality in this book was so great to see. I loved reading a protagonist who is Latino but not necessarily Spanish-fluent (which doesn't sound like a big deal, but as a Latina but not exactly Spanish-fluent person myself, it was very nice to see we exist), and I realized while reading this is one of the few YA books I've seen with characters from a lower socioeconomic background.

Secondly, this book broke my heart so many times. Emotions go all over the place with this one, with big highs and really sad lows, and I absolutely loved the twist. Aaron and many of the other characters are complicated, layered characters who felt completely real, and they were a treat to read.

I will say that the pacing in the first third of the book or so was a little slower than my liking, and for a while I wasn't really sure where the plot was going (and when I did think I knew where the plot was going, I was so wrong which was great). But as things began coming together, the whole story wove together really nicely and I definitely enjoyed it.

More Happy Than Not will bring on the feels and really make you connect with the characters. This book was a delight to read and I definitely recommend it to those looking for something different, gritty, and honest.

I'm giving 4/5 stars to this wonderful YA and I can't wait to read Silvera's next book!

Diversity note: The protagonist is Latino, gay, and like many of the characters, from a lower socioeconomic background. Other major characters were also PoC, including the main love interest, and the protagonist also suffers from depression.

Good, but not great.
At the beginning of the book too many side-characters are introduced, and except for two of them, they are so blandly described that you struggle to remember who is who for the rest of the book. Unless you make the characters really outstanding, not even seasoned writers with decades of books' worth can make it work - even Stephen King has been guilty of this in later years.
I didn't feel as much for the characters as I did with “They Both Die at the End” or “History is All You Left Me”. Of course, this is Silvera's first book, so some rough edges are to be expected.
And now to the twist ...
SPOILER
When we a little more than halfway through the book learn that Aaron actually had the procedure at Leteo, I felt cheated. To me it was a cheap twist that just seemed like an afterthought. It made it all more confusing and made me doubt how much of the rest of the book was real or false memories or whatever. Overall the whole Leteo thing actually didn't sit well with me.
All in all, worth a read, but don't expect anything groundbreaking.

✨ Check out my post about all of Adam Silvera's books!

I had the privilege of reading this book back when Adam Silvera was a debut author. Back then, I accidentally stumbled upon this book, and I'm so glad that I did.

I flew through MHTN in one single day. I was hooked from the beginning, and my emotions were a mess about 50% of the time.

This was one of the first books that really made me cry. I mean, it was the kind of sobbing you experience after you've finished an amazing book and you're really sad that it's over.

I wish I could experience it again without knowing what was going to happen next, because the twists in this book were so good! So unpredictable! It was heart-wrenching and sad, but I loved it. A very good book. I must reread it as soon as I can!

Romance: ♥️♥️♥️

My Heartbreak:

Never would've thought I'd 5-star a book which had thrown me into depths of sorrow but here I am.

I was almost yawning in the first 2 parts of the book but then “it” happened. And i had to reread the beginning again because I got a completely different perspective.
I was not ok afterwards. It was too painful to keep reading Aaron's story, but I still did, hoping everything would turn out fine.
The ending was brief, and more bitter than sweet, but I couldn't have done it better.
If you're in for an emotional (depressing) rollercoaster, this the book for you.

I also have conflicting feelings about Aaron. On one hand, I empathize with him and relate to some of his struggles. On the other hand, I think he's a pretty shit person (for cheating, for being disrespectful towards Thomas' identity etc.). So my rating is mostly based on how amazing the story was written.

I was really worried for the first half of the book. It's a group of teenage boys in the Bronx acting like...well, teen boys. They're super “bro-y”, always talking about sex, which girls are hot, the best blow-jobs they've had, their distaste for common cleanliness courtesies. Obviously it's somewhat exaggerated because it's a YA book, but it is not what I was expecting. I frequently thought “This is not the Adam Silvera content I wanted, give me the GAY!” Once it happened though, it REALLY happened. 0% gay to 100% gay real quick and I loved it.

All of the disparate references to certain events in the book all click together in the final chapters, and it is GUT-WRENCHING. For example, once I realized that Aaron's father killed himself because Aaron finally worked up the courage to come out of the closet, I was an emotional WRECK! I was listening to the audiobook while washing dishes, and immediately started tearing up. The idea of a loved one doing something so terrible to themselves and their family because I disappointed them is something that I feared and struggled with for a long time. I can't imagine what I would do in that situation, and hope I never truly have to reckon with the possibility.

This heartbreaking book gives you almost everything you wanted, just to take it all from you at some point, and then it just lets you have the essential bits. It got me hooked and I liked it, even tho it slapped me in the face. But writing about a hurtful truth is what it takes: lots of hope, and some more pain.

I bought this book in 2018 because I wanted to read all of Silvera's books. ‘They both die at the end' was big at the time and I wanted to read it, but decide it I'd start with this one. I won't overshare on the internet, but let's say I was not ready for the mentions the characters made about suicide. I decided to let it aside for a while, pick it up when I felt was time. And now has been time. And now I don't know how I feel about it.

I was definitely not expecting it to turn out to be such a sad book. Not devastating in a way that's broken me, but in a way that, if I had actually read this when I bought it, a period of time in my life in which I was still figuring out my gender and identity, would have completely broken me.

I can't decide if I prefer it this way. Reading this at 21, knowing who I am, fully accepting of my gayness, hoping for a happy ending, embracing being trans. Or reading this at 17, the age Aaron is, and will in a way remain to be. The age at which I tried my hardest not to be trans, the age at which I begged myself to be normal. The age at which I pleaded and cried my eyes out and got angry so often for being the way I will always remain.

I'm not trying to write a review. Honestly, I suck at those. I don't expect anyone to read this, I only hope I can look back at this one day and think: ‘hey, remember that time I read that book i was expecting to love, hated once I actually started it and ended up really liking?'.

I'm not really sure how I feel or what this book is supposed to mean. I don't understand how all that happened, in such little time. How hooked it got me at the most unexpected moment. It was not clicking until it clicked (I honestly thank the gays for this one), and then I couldn't stop reading. Like, for real, couldn't stop. I thought there would be such a cute happy ending, I thought Thomas was going to be gay. I, for the life of me, never thought it would end that way. Such a crude, raw and realistic ending. I don't even feel like crying, although I have a little, I just feel like staring at a wall for hours and being sad. Ironically, I also feel like going out and forming long-lasting memories, learning skills, loving people, just in case I won't be able to tomorrow. This book is such a positive and negative cry, a call for action and reflection, but it's also so conflicting, so... I just don't know what to say. I can't find the words. I hope I don't forget Aaron.

I don't remember if I ever finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I mean, I remember Kate Winslet singing the Clementine song, and I remember Serious Actor Jim Carrey with probe-thingies on his head, but that's about it. I feel like if I'd remembered more of the movie then I might have had more realistic expectations going into More Happy Than Not. It was good, but really heavy and dark - much more than I expected for a YA novel - with themes of depression and suicide and bullying/violence because of the main character's sexuality as he runs around with his friends in his neighborhood, where poverty and violence is rampant, parental supervision all but a joke, and selling drugs a reasonable means of getting by. As with another reviewer, I did wonder why the idea of bisexuality wasn't explored at all, considering Aaron doesn't want to be gay and does repeatedly profess to love the girlfriend with whom he is intimate, even when he's only in his own head. I did appreciate the complexities of Aaron's relationships with his neighborhood friends, and the idea of the Leteo Institute's procedures to help one forget, and thought it was well-written. 3.5 stars.

CW: attempted suicide, suicidal ideation, finding the body of someone who has died by suicide; physical abuse, bullying, homophobia, denial of sexual orientation, violence because of perceived sexual orientation, depression, and probably others that I've missed.