Ratings3
Average rating3.7
In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when: We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly. Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.
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I started this book today because our Thanksgiving begins on Friday, and I would like to do everything I can to have a lovely holiday and to build relationships with those people I love.
For me, this was a very helpful book.
Most importantly, Lerner reminds us over and over that we can try every idea in the book and things may still fail. I think that's a good reminder for me not to expect too much.
She also suggests we take things slowly, to expect that if things are to get better, it will probably take time.
Lerner offers ideas for how to respond in some common situations: when you disagree with someone, when someone is criticizing you, when you are being ignored, when you are talking too much, when you are angry.
I feel like I underlined everything in the book at times, but that's because it's a book with a lot of good stuff in it.