The Quick and the Thread

sigh I just wanted to read a cozy mystery... and embroideries, nice. The cover looks really nice.
But... sigh Was not going to happen.

I'm glad this was a quick read, anyway.

Ok, I realized that I need to say the good parts of it, because there were good parts. (So I changed my review from 1 star to 2 stars.
It was a quick read. Amanda Lee isn't a bad author.
I like the dog.
I like the movie and tv show references. I like classic movies, too, and the mrs Danvers reference could have been funny, except that the context made it unkind, rude, unfair and mean.
There is SOME effort to actually depict embroidery as it is, and I get the impression the author knows what she is talking about, unlike some other authors I have read.

"”He asked if anyone else at the party got sick.”
“He wasn't sick. He was drunk.”
“That's what I said. But Ted insists he was a lifelong teetotaler.”
“Why does Ted have such a hard time believing (he was drunk)?”
“I don't know.”
“What galls me is that what happened is obvious to everyone except the detective investigating the case.”

I'd rather believe the detective than you, who don't even know the guy.

So... I just had to read this book to see if mr Enright gets vindicated. Sort of. But they can't stop bashing his widow.

I hate the main character. I reached the “look at that bitch eating crackers as if she owned the world” stage very quickly. I hate Marci. I even hate her name. Stupid name. Who names their daughter “Marci” now-a-days? [Or “Marcella”. So stupid. (I apologize if your name is Marci or Marcella or any form of that. It's not a stupid name, I just hate this heroine so much everything about her is hateful.)]

A man tries to tell her something that he obviously thinks is terribly important, and she assumes he's drunk and avoids him. Then she spends the rest of the book whining about that, and everyone tells her it she didn't do anything wrong. Yes, she did. She knows she did. But - she doesn't need to learn anything from this, because she's miss perfect and everyone tells her she is.

She finds a dead man in her storeroom, and calls it “a minor aggravation, more or less”.
Oh, no, she needs to close her store for a couple of days and cannot start with her embroidery classes... uh, so aggravating!

“Leave it to some drunken buffoon to wander in and not only spoil your party, but make you have to shut down your store to boot. What a shame.”
Yeah. How DARES he get murdered in your store! WHAT A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!

rolling eyes

Nobody seems to be sorry for the death of the guy. Except another store owner who said “He appeared to be a very nice man—never did anything untoward, as far as I know.”
Nobody went to offer his widow any condolences or fruit baskets. Nobody went to his funeral, if he even had one.

BTW, what does our excellent MC say about the other store owner?
“She didn't strike me as a particularly nice person,” I said, “which is too bad, because I like aromatherapy products.”
“That's okay,” Sadie said with small smile. “I know a wonderful place in [in another place] that sells top-of-the-line stuff.”
YOU don't strike me as a nice person. So, I'll just boycott your store and order my embroidery stuff online. And that coffee shop as well. I'm sure my pastry is better than hers anyway.
(BTW; that store owner isn't mentioned again in the whole book)

The detective hasn't been anything but proper with her, but she sneers at him and is impolite and gets upset for no reason at all. He probably didn't strike her as a nice person either.
What is her problem? Why is she being a bitch?
(Oh, and later she's being a total bitch, and the detective curls a lip at the mean comment, and then she suddenly starts to like him. I suddenly found him as not a nice person, too.)

But - obviously the detective has a crush on her, because she's marysue and every remotely interesting single guy has to fall in love with her. That's the rule.
And obviously there's a threesome. And obviously she resents her friend who's trying to look after her other friend. How dares she assume she wants to keep both guys hanging? She's the HEROINE for crying out loud!!!
And, of course, the other woman apologizes first :-D Because heroines don't need to apologize. Ever.
But, she resents her anyway, because she's the perfect heroine who never does anything wrong, and it's always someone else's fault
God, I hate her.

She is more concerned about the fact that she is a suspect, than that two people are dead. That she's suspect is totally proper and correct way to deal with it. I really don't understand the “how can you suspect ME? EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW I'M A GOOD PERSON!!!” attitude so many USonians have. Do that, and your book loses another star.

Another star fell of because of the “I haven't done ANYTHING wrong, and THEY are being SO MEAN to me!!!”

Then they go to express their condolences to the landlord's widow, while no-one did that with the widow of the first murder victim, and behave nastily toward the murdered man's sister, and then they call the sister a shrew and “And I'd like to see if Mrs. Danvers has a reflection in the mirror over the mantel in the living room”
WTF? What a f-ing bitch!

Then they meet the grieving sister again, and assume she's being terribly inapporpriate and audacious, until she explains what she means, and shows she's just being prudent and considerate and kind, and only when she cries over her dead brother, the bitches offer her some sympathy... with “Why is it that even the most heartfelt sentiments expressed at times like this seem so trite?” Heartfelt sentiments, my ass!
AND NOT EVEN A WORD OF “OH WE MISJUDGED HER, DIDN'T WE, OOPS”. Oh, no. Because these bitches are perfect.

Then she keeps buggering the guys and their families, even though it's none of her business, because “it's not irrelevant to me. I need to know why two men are dead and if their deaths are in any way connected with my shop.”
No, you don't. You want to. That's something different.
And it is none of your business, bitch. You don't have the right to harass people because you want to stick you nose into none-of-your-business.
And, BTW, let the police do their job. It's not your job!
Oh, dear, how I hate this MC.
This book is losing stars pretty fast...

so - here's some chosen bits that I react to, because I just hate this book.

“Why did you name him Angus?” Detective Nash asked. “Are you a fan of AC/DC?”
Only a fan of AC/DC would ask that.
Angus, BTW, is more Scottish than Irish.

As soon as we got into Blake's van, I dug around in my purse and found my hand sanitizer. I squirted a generous amount onto my palm. (because her hand had been “encased between Norman Patrick's sweaty palms”)
Such a lovely person.

“I can only remember one actress with a starring role who acted haughty toward Mom.”“And she appeared on set in a garment that made everybody—paparazzi included—speculate about her ‘belly bump.' ”Sadie and I were still laughing when the waiter returned with our drinks.
Oh, yeah, the mom is such a nice person, as well.

“My mom is Audrey-classy”
No, she isn't. Audrey would never have revenged anyone behaving badly toward her by creating gossip.

The coffee house owner has a stomach bug. And her husband keeps the coffee house open. Nice. So, soon, half the town will have a stomach bug.

“I had some mini bacon-and-cheddar quiches, which have the flakiest crusts ever. Plus, they have bits of onion that really enhance the flavor of the eggs.”
Ew. Bits of onion don't enhance the flavor of eggs. Eggs have a soft, kind, mild flavor, and it drowns in onions.

“he was carrying a bouquet of roses, daisies, and chrysanthemums”
Another yuk. Who puts roses, daisies and mums in the same bouquet? Roses and mums don't work together, they are too different.

You ask something very personal from the guy ON YOUR FIRST DATE, and when he doesn't react well to that, you get nasty. Brrr... I wouldn't date this woman even if she was the last woman on earth. She's as fake and nasty as her hair color.

I searched ???quirky cozy mystery??? and someone recommended this book. Sure enough, the first 10 pages dabbled in fun dialogue and silly analogies. After that, the author must have abandoned rewrites and editing because there were plenty of errors, typos, and sentences that were place holders for the next rewrite.

If this is how to start a 6 year 10 book series, then all of the aspiring writers out there have a chance for success.