The Rules Do Not Apply

Her writing is genuinely exquisite and compulsively readable, with beautiful word choices. That she is a talented writer is not in question. She doesn't have to be likable and has fully opened herself up to judgement, however in a memoir meant to question her own choices, she doesn't seem to do much true examination of her motives. I found it incredibly problematic that that she was still referring to her former (trans) lover as she or glossing over in a sentence or two about the cushiony pillow of her privilege, as if that didn't play a major part in the outcome of her story. Also, ending her story in a marriage plot trope really lost much of my goodwill towards the story.

WARNING: Highly Opinionated Review to Follow

In my sixty years, I've learned a little about people. Not a lot, mind you, but a little. I can now separate people into two categories: Drama Queens (male and female, against all stereotypes) and Those Who Prefer Peace and Quiet. I'm afraid I fall into the later category, and, as a result, I tend to regard DQs (quite judgmentally, I'm sad to say) as people who bring their troubles on themselves: You can't seem to have those extraordinary highs without having resultant extraordinary lows. I don't tend to enjoy books written by these folks; these aren't lives I want to experience, even vicariously.

That, then, is the reason for my three star rating. Levy is a marvelous writer. Her stories are mesmerizing. I just don't happen to like to stare at road kill.

3.5. I didn't know about Ariel Levy before reading this book, but I thought this was a compelling memoir. Without getting into many spoilers, it's about wanting to have it all in life, the sacrifices we are forced to make (especially as women), it's about love, lust, marriage, motherhood, grief, addiction, and growth. The writing is fantastic and I highlighted so many quotes that hit really close to my heart.

However, I experienced something weird reading this; while I related or empathized with a lot of what she went through, I also felt somewhat disconnected with the story and therefore didn't feel like it hit me emotionally in the way I wanted it to. I know that is a weird thing to say about someone's real life story. So many tragic things happened. But I didn't connect with the text in the way such a story should've. It's the kind of book I am glad I read, but I'm not going to run to recommend to everyone around me.