The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
Ratings33
Average rating4.1
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • An award-winning psychologist reveals the hidden power of our inner voice and shows how to harness it to combat anxiety, improve physical and mental health, and deepen our relationships with others. LONGLISTED FOR THE PORCHLIGHT BUSINESS BOOK AWARD • “A masterpiece.”—Angela Duckworth, bestselling author of Grit • Malcolm Gladwell, Susan Cain, Adam Grant, and Daniel H. Pink’s Next Big Idea Club Winter 2021 Winning Selection One of the best new books of the year—The Washington Post, BBC, USA Today, CNN Underscored, Shape, Behavioral Scientist, PopSugar • Kirkus Reviews, Publishers Weekly, and Shelf Awareness starred reviews Tell a stranger that you talk to yourself, and you’re likely to get written off as eccentric. But the truth is that we all have a voice in our head. When we talk to ourselves, we often hope to tap into our inner coach but find our inner critic instead. When we’re facing a tough task, our inner coach can buoy us up: Focus—you can do this. But, just as often, our inner critic sinks us entirely: I’m going to fail. They’ll all laugh at me. What’s the use? In Chatter, acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves. Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies—from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch, to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy—Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives, work, and relationships. He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk—what he calls “chatter”—can tank our health, sink our moods, strain our social connections, and cause us to fold under pressure. But the good news is that we’re already equipped with the tools we need to make our inner voice work in our favor. These tools are often hidden in plain sight—in the words we use to think about ourselves, the technologies we embrace, the diaries we keep in our drawers, the conversations we have with our loved ones, and the cultures we create in our schools and workplaces. Brilliantly argued, expertly researched, and filled with compelling stories, Chatter gives us the power to change the most important conversation we have each day: the one we have with ourselves.
Reviews with the most likes.
I bought this book as soon as it came out because it looked so damn interesting, and it WAS. I love the exploration of the inner voice, and I think it can be helpful for people struggling with anxiety and those who do not. We all have an inner voice regardless of what we struggle with, so there is a wide application and variety of groups who I believe would benefit from reading this.
A good advice I got from this book is to use the third person voice to address my thoughts: ???Hey, do you think worrying like that is useful at all? It???s better to focus on the here and now.?????
2.5 stars. I feel like I am the perfect audience for this book but I didn't glean as much from it as I wish I had. I did, however, like the tip Kross had about mental distancing and relating your stressors from a second or third person perspective, which might help me out when I next go into an anxiety spiral.
A major problem with this book is that it assumes a very specific, neurotypical perspective. While I don't necessarily think Kross needed to have gone into every different type of neurodivergence out there since that isn't the objective of his book, a simple statement to acknowledge that this isn't “one size fits all” advice would've been very much appreciated. Not everyone has inner voices nor do they think in words. I would consider myself neurotypical, but I don't think in words to myself all the time - my anxiety spiral tends to serve me images and scenes, often upsetting ones.
Similarly, a lot of concepts in the book is painted with very broad strokes. I understand that this is, on some level, necessary for the book's marketability and simply because it's aimed to cater to the most “common” mental behaviours, but it sometimes feels a bit alienating, even for myself.
Kross provides about 7 tips for reducing chatter and I don't think all of them would help for everyone out there, so I wish there was more, and also more hands-on advice. I felt like I only really had one good tip from this whole book. I'm thankful for that, but also wished there was more.