Daring Greatly

What an engaging book about a cringe-y topic. Brené argues for becoming willing to be vulnerable so you can show up with your whole self to your life. She breaks down the difference between shame - I am bad - and guilt - I have done a bad thing - and how shame is toxic but guilt can be something we build on.

I'm going to go watch her TED talk now.

After watching Browns Ted talks and hearing a number of recommendations, I knew I had to check out her books. Browns openness sets a tone for the reader, staying vulnerable and staying curious on how she can adapt. The core concept of the book - that embracing vulnerability is a path towards many things is best conveyed by one line from the book:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

This is not a binge read that you sit down to finish in one sitting, this is a book that is consumed slowly, it is filling and requires time to digest. It made me have many uncomfortable moments of introspection and because of that I would read it between other books, I would pick it up when I felt brave enough to have those moments because I needed to read the words and think on them. I highlighted so many paragraphs, sometimes whole pages in my ebook that i know i need to get a physical copy and mark it up. This is a book I want to revisit over and over. Everyone should read this.

I could listen to Brené Brown for days... and I did. While I enjoyed listening to her, I constantly wondered when the book would start. This book contains a lot of stories, but not a lot of actionable advice. My takeaway from Daring Greatly is that we are all insecure with our vulnerabilities and that we all trust/seek out people based on their vulnerabilities, but fear sharing our own.

The long lasting impact of this book on my life was unexpected. I have experienced more empathy towards others when they are vulnerable and I have also become more vulnerable in my relationships. I still hold shame in almost every area of my life, but allowing myself to feel and be vulnerable has let me let go of those negative emotions. More often than not, the shame that I share is not received by others as shame, but as vulnerability, and their response to this vulnerability is most has been comforting. I originally rated this as 2 stars, but increased the rating to 3 stars because of this mindset shift.

I definitely need to go out and buy this one.

I originally watched Brené Brown's TED Talk and wanted to read more of her work. This book takes some of the concepts discussed in the TED Talk and expounds on them. I listened to the audiobook, which was read by the author herself. Fantastic voice and personality, and very strong concepts. I want to get the book now to have and to reread some passages.

Favorite quotes:
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”

“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.”

“When we spend our lives waiting until we're perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make. Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don't exist in the human experience.”

“I'm not perfect and I'm not always right, but I'm here, open, paying attention, loving you, and fully engaged.”

Some of this book struck me as rehashed pop-psychology from the 70s (I'm OK, You're OK), but there also seemed to be some excellent insights for teachers, parents, managers, and leaders. In fact, some of the book seems to describe the more constructive creative writing workshops I've been in, and that helps give us a vocabulary for why a particular method works better than another.

After watching Browns Ted talks and hearing a number of recommendations, I knew I had to check out her books. Browns openness sets a tone for the reader, staying vulnerable and staying curious on how she can adapt. The core concept of the book - that embracing vulnerability is a path towards many things is best conveyed by one line from the book:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

A new favorite quote, from Theodore Roosevelt: “It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the person who is in the arena. Whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly ... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly ...”


So, trust me, I'm daring greatly when I write a review of this book. Or any book. I say this honestly. Vulnerably.


And a reminder to self: Spend more time in the arena and less in the stands.

I absolutely love Brene, but this didn't actually do it for me. I got a lot more out of listening to her audiobook / talk.

However - this felt slightly different to that, and opened up the conversation in a different and what felt like more research-specific way. It feels like it caters to a slightly older audience? Unsure...

That said - it allowed me to sit with her definitions of shame and vulnerability a lot more deeply than I did when listening to her audiobook - and perhaps what I'm feeling right now is an unfamiliarity.

I get the feeling that I can't read ‘too much' of this kind of research, as every time I deliberately choose to spend more time engaging with it, I unlock something new about myself and my psyche.

I know some of the vocab she uses is slowly going to infuse itself into my life and my relationships. Yahoo! Peace xx

Brené Brown hits me where I live. Books like these just help reset and realign where I'm coming from and her chapters on parenting were especially important. I'd argue that her anecdotes are a bit too scripted and convenient but I'm happy to give her a pass. Brown is an imperfect, flawed and human writer that shares her own struggles to illuminate her point. It's broken up into short little chapters that were easy to dip into while I was reading other books. It's a reminder to live wholeheartedly (ugh that sounds terrible) embrace vulnerability and continue showing up.

I picked up this book after watching Brene Brown's TED talk. If you're not familiar with her work, she's a researcher who studies shame and vulnerability. I think I enjoyed the book so much because it's not your standard self-help fare. It's a scientific look at the dynamic between shame and vulnerability and how those things deeply impact our ability to connect with others.

I listened to the audio version of the book, which is narrated by the author. I highly recommend it.

Brene Brown's books all centre around the theme of living life as your best, authentic self. This sounds so simple but we, as a reading public, and I, as an individual reader, keep coming back to titles like this to remind us/me that:
–our struggles are likely not private embarrassments, but part of larger social trends involving lots of people in similar circumstances
–there is a way out of beating ourselves up all the time for our failures.
In this book, I particularly appreciated the way she quietly acknowledged that so much of her writing and speaking SEEMS to be geared at women, but is applicable to both genders. Although men have different social burdens than women do, they are under equal pressure to perform a role for which they didn't necessarily intend to audition. I am glad she made this observation in part because I have the sense that women read her work far more frequently than men do, and this is a shame.