How to Be a Friend: An Ancient Guide to True Friendship
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A splendid new translation of one of the greatest books on friendship ever written In a world where social media, online relationships, and relentless self-absorption threaten the very idea of deep and lasting friendships, the search for true friends is more important than ever. In this short book, which is one of the greatest ever written on the subject, the famous Roman politician and philosopher Cicero offers a compelling guide to finding, keeping, and appreciating friends. With wit and wisdom, Cicero shows us not only how to build friendships but also why they must be a key part of our lives. For, as Cicero says, life without friends is not worth living. Filled with timeless advice and insights, Cicero’s heartfelt and moving classic—written in 44 BC and originally titled De Amicitia—has inspired readers for more than two thousand years, from St. Augustine and Dante to Thomas Jefferson and John Adams. Presented here in a lively new translation with the original Latin on facing pages and an inviting introduction, How to Be a Friend explores how to choose the right friends, how to avoid the pitfalls of friendship, and how to live with friends in good times and bad. Cicero also praises what he sees as the deepest kind of friendship—one in which two people find in each other “another self” or a kindred soul. An honest and eloquent guide to finding and treasuring true friends, How to Be a Friend speaks as powerfully today as when it was first written.
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How to be a Friend by Cicero
About a week after I read this, I was reading an article in the Catholic journal, Communio about the writings of Cardinal Caffaro, who wrote a great deal on family. At one point, the author observes that “He is inspired by St. Augustine, who wrote, “No one can be truly a friend unless he is first a friend of the truth.” If you are acquainted with St. Augustine, you will know that St. Augustine was turned toward philosophy by Cicero's now lost “Hortensius.” If you've read this book you will know that this summarizes Cicero's “How to be a Friend.” [Serveral pages later, the author quotes Cicero's aphorism “familia seminarium societas,” basically, “the family is the foundation of society,” which is another aphorism that summarizes this book.]
Cicero wrote this book as a kind of dialogue. Cicero assumes the identity of Laelius, whose best friend, Scipio Africanus, has recently passed away. His sons-in-law take the opportunity to ask him about his views on friendship. Laelius then provides his relatives with long monologues on various sub-topics of friendship.
One of Laelius's key points is that friendship involves virtue. True friends are friends of the truth because only those people who have virtue can be friends. The excellence of friendship is in the friendship itself, rather than what a person can use the friendship for. That makes friendship, and the friend, the subject of friendship rather than an object. A friend is another self and, so, is the subject of friendship, like we all make ourselves the subject of our lives rather than its object.
I like the “How To” Philosophy series. They are quick and to the point. The introductions are well written and set up the subsequent material.
