I'm Afraid of Men
Ratings16
Average rating4
15
Ratings16
Average rating4
Named a Best Book by: The Globe and Mail, Indigo, Out Magazine, Audible, CBC, Apple, Quill & Quire, Kirkus Reviews, Brooklyn Public Library, Writers’ Trust of Canada, Autostraddle, Bitch, and BookRiot. Finalist for the 2019 Lambda Literary Award, Transgender Nonfiction Nominated for the 2019 Forest of Reading Evergreen Award Winner of the 2018 Alcuin Society Awards for Excellence in Book Design – Prose Non-Fiction "Cultural rocket fuel." --Vanity Fair "Emotional and painful but also layered with humour, I'm Afraid of Men will widen your lens on gender and challenge you to do better. This challenge is a necessary one--one we must all take up. It is a gift to dive into Vivek's heart and mind." --Rupi Kaur, bestselling author of The Sun and Her Flowers and Milk and Honey A trans artist explores how masculinity was imposed on her as a boy and continues to haunt her as a girl--and how we might reimagine gender for the twenty-first century. Vivek Shraya has reason to be afraid. Throughout her life she's endured acts of cruelty and aggression for being too feminine as a boy and not feminine enough as a girl. In order to survive childhood, she had to learn to convincingly perform masculinity. As an adult, she makes daily compromises to steel herself against everything from verbal attacks to heartbreak. Now, with raw honesty, Shraya delivers an important record of the cumulative damage caused by misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia, releasing trauma from a body that has always refused to assimilate. I'm Afraid of Men is a journey from camouflage to a riot of colour and a blueprint for how we might cherish all that makes us different and conquer all that makes us afraid.
Reviews with the most likes.
There can be things to gain from reading something like this but I'm always left unsettled at the stark level of posturing from trans woman. They truly believe in their minds that they are the minority and their levels of pain outweigh woman's when their issues don't derive directly from misogyny, as they weren't born as a woman in this world. They can still if they ever desired take off the makeup and clothes and go back to being a man and enjoy male privilege. It just makes feminism a joke that it's woman bearing the brunt of having to accept men as woman, and having to accept them into our limited spaces and have to adjust our limited gendered vocabulary (in reference to woman anatomy) to as not “offend” them. They can't be criticized otherwise you're just a “terf”
Vivek is very much on the defensive with this novel and tried to articulate the feelings of isolation and pain but the title alone and the topics covered just make me want to scoff in the audacity of it all. I use to not question things, I use to not object but as I've gotten older and realized just how much everything affects woman and I don't do that anymore. Sorry not sorry.
A must read. Short and insightful I suspect it will be pretty relatable in one way or another to anyone who struggled with their gender identify either profoundly or passingly. It's written beautifully but not in a needlessly flowery way.
“Why is my humanity only seen or cared about when I share the ways in which I have been victimized and violated?”
I'm Afraid of Men was such a great and thoughtful read that helped shine a light on topics surrounding gender, identity and trauma. I thought it was extremely powerful how the author focused on her own experiences, which are some that sadly many people share as well.
This was a fast, informative read that I think everyone should pick up.
eh....there are important topics here but i dont know it wasnt what i was expecting i guess...? good points are made but then kind of flubbed around with and i dont know how i feel about the ending of this... to make the point that underneath it all everything you've experienced in life comes down to misogyny only to end with how afraid of women you are just feels...
