It's Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single
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"If you're single and searching, there's no end to other people's explanations, excuses, and criticism explaining why you haven't found a partner: "You're too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you'll be fine." "You're too desperate. If men think you need them, they'll run scared." "You're too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates." "You have low self-esteem. You can't love someone else until you've learned to love yourself." "You're too needy. You can't be happy in a relationship until you've learned to be happy on your own." Based on her popular Modern Love column, Sara Eckel's It's Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there's no one reason why you're single--you just are"--
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Believe it or not, I've more or less been subjected to all these “reasons” why I'm single. Well, except for one. Sara Eckel definitely didn't include this particular reason. Once, a young man came towards me, terribly serious and said, “You know what's your problem?”
I looked up from my book, puzzled. We weren't even talking, and I wasn't looking for his opinion. But he went on anyway.
He said: “You read too much.”
This is a handy book for singletons to keep, especially during the holidays when they're subjected to a high barrage of “why are you still single?” questions and unsolicited advice about your singlehood. Read the book and realise that you're not the only one, and that you are perfectly fine being single.
A great look into just accepting your humanness. Relaxing and just going with the flow when it comes to dating. There are some great quotes here that really resonate with me and make me feel validated and comforted, that other people are feeling these same things. I would like to read this one again and remember the good quotes here.
Daaaaaamn. What a thinker. What a writer. What a book.
I had zero inclination to read this when I stumbled upon it at the library, but something inside me said, “Pick it up.” Sara and I have similar mindsets so it felt great to passively communicate with her via reading. Haha. I love that she sprinkles in buddhist teachings and, well, just her soul on a whole.
This book needs to be required reading for all single people. Hell, all people, actually.
Simply beautiful
