Quiet

3.5

“Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured.”

I didn't realize that the world had it out for introverts but maybe it's just my problem for missing it?

Based on this book's gross generalization I'm neither an introvert nor an extrovert. While I am an introvert at my core, my personality is also sprinkled with characteristics that are attributed solely to extroversion. Apparently I'm the Divergent in Cain's world which is divided in these two factions: introverts and extroverts.

I found little use to the book. Barely any insightful information is provided. Like I said, it was overall just a gross generalization. Cain's view of the matter is seriously biased.

I am all for protecting and cherishing introversion, after all, I am mostly introverted. And I have had that held against me on occasions. I felt wronged, of course. Nonetheless, I was quite taken aback by the villainization of extroverts. Cain portrays introverts as these perpetually misunderstood geniuses, who need to be handled like delicate flowers, who would fix all the world's problems if only they would be allowed to take over. Because introverts are such good folks. And extroverts are these loud, stupid, intimidating assholes who never listen to the voice of reason, who only care about themselves and always try to manipulate everyone for their own gain, therefore they are those who will bring on the Apocalypse. Even when she makes some feeble attempts to give extroversion some credit it always comes out as a insult that's masked a compliment.

The truth is, throughout my lifetime, I've faced a lot of assholes, and they were from both camps. The extroverted ones used loud, aggressive methods of intimidation while the introverted ones used insidious passive-aggressive tactics. None was better than the other. So it's really not about where you are on the introversion-extroversion scale is what you end up doing with it and this point seems to completely escape Cain's view.

This book was meant to stroke my introverted ego, but it failed miserably. To me, it felt like a big pity party while I was expecting a fairly objective opinion based on scientific findings about introversion and extroversion.

I'm not saying that her criticism of today's western society is invalid. And that she doesn't have a point when she talks about how awful corporations and the educational system are. Or about how they brake spirits and suppress valid ideas just based on the delivery. Loud, arrogant, impulsive, stupid people are usually the ones who end up in charge everywhere nowadays and this is causing so many issue for everyone. But it's not a simple matter of introverts vs. extroverts.

The only few sections that were not completely tainted by her personal convictions, did provide some useful information and helped me confirm the knowledge of my own personality. But nothing was revolutionary, I had an intuitive understanding of most of those ideas.

Needless to say I was very disappointed by this book. It's of little value from a scientific point of view. For me it was mostly Cain's way of dealing with her own challenges of being an introvert and frankly she comes out as a somewhat bitter, passive-aggressive individual.

Otherwise, the narration was quite pleasant and there are quite a few good quotes and ideas, too bad they were tainted with the author's defensive attitude.

Some very interesting insights in to the nature and nurture of introverts.

As you can probably guess from the title: this book deals with the subject of introversion and extroversion within humans. It's written from the point of view of an introvert, and focuses more on them than extroverts. Extroverts are usually brought up more as a comparison than anything. Ergo this book would probably appeal more to fellow introverts than any extroverts reading this. There is still a fair bit of information on extroversion in here however so don't let that discourage you too much!


The author is a self-described introvert and a former Wall Street lawyer named Susan Cain. Susan Cain is an American and so almost all of the book is set in, and directed towards, America and Americans. While some of it might not be relevant to you if you're not American (A/N: I'm not!), such as if you're from a mostly introverted country (an example she uses is China I believe) most of the book is still useful to you. Just keep in mind that she is using a mostly extroverted country as a background.

The book covers a lot of varying topics such as how introversion affects both your personal life, your career, and your relationships. There is a veritable wealth of knowledge in this book, Cain sure has done her research into this topic. It is well presented, with each chapter focusing on a different aspect of your life and how introversion can affect it.

She also gives examples of introverts and extroverts she has met throughout her life to help illustrate how certain obstacles in our life can be overcome or used to our advantage. I say obstacles here in reference to her common statement in the book that we are living in a world where extroversion is the ideal. In a world of extroverts it can be difficult to fit in, or to fake your way into being a pseudo-extrovert (more on that inside the book).

She describes introverts as a necessary part of society, indeed that society could not function without both introverts and extroverts. That the existence of the two in perfect harmony is the natural state of human society.

The book is useful to pretty much anyone, whether you're a parent trying to understand your introverted child, or an introvert trying to better understand yourself and how to achieve success in whatever you want and/or happiness.

The book is great in that it doesn't describe either introversion or extroversion in negative terms, but rather explains that they're both highly useful in their own ways. Neither one is better over the other. Cain was very non-judgemental when writing Quiet.

As an introvert I found the book to be very relatable at times. The title was especially appealing to me. The book wasn't perfect, but it was close enough. The book sometimes seems to read as fiction, to me anyway. Possibly it is the author's style of writing which gives that impression. I was also a bit turned off because of all the Americanism, but the author is American so I can't be too disappointed by that. I almost rated it a 5/5, it was a close call but ultimately decided on 4/5 mostly for the reasons I just listed.

Excellent, insightful

In a world that largely understands introversion and extroversion as being shy or outgoing, Quiet is a refreshing and deep look at the reality of introversion. Personalities are complicated in every aspect, but not all are trivialized the way introversion/extroversion are. Susan explores the concept in great detail, not to say that introversion is better than extroversion, but that despite what our society tends to believe, being a quieter or more reserved person can provide strengths we all need.

I would recommend this book to anyone who feels they are introverted, anyone who has a close relationship with an introvert, or anyone interested in learning more about introversion in general.

An excellent read!

I wasn't sure about it in the beginning due to the stereotype of introvert=sensitive and extravert=aggressive. But I fully enjoyed the end.

An interesting read so far, about how did we (the Western world) get where we are in valuing the talker more than the thinker

This is the book I wish I had read in grade school. Growing up, I always thought of the largest difference between introverts and extroverts to be quiet vs outgoing. The difference though is much more complex. The premise of this book is the idea that extroverts get energy from crowds, while it costs introverts energy to interact. The idea that some introverts even enjoy speaking because they value getting their message across more than their distake for public speaking hit close to home for me.

Start with the author's TED talk. If you like her style and message, you'll enjoy more of the same in her book, plus some field research, like her entertaining observations participating in a Tony Robbins seminar.

This one gets four stars in part because so much of it resonated with me as a mostly-introvert. Cain starts out strongly, but I wondered a lot about the strength of her conceptual framework the more I read. I think it's a useful framework, recognizing how some folks are more introverted and some folks are more extroverted, but I wonder about the limits of the framework, and she doesn't talk much about the limits. I would have enjoyed a discussion of introvert/extrovert as parts of a spectrum more.

Still, if you tend toward introversion, this book provides a framework that comes as something of a relief.

I think the best and worst section is the one on being in a relationship with someone who is of the “opposite” types.

A deeply touching look at introversion, introverts, and the way western culture devalues our strengths. I strongly recommend it to anyone who is an introvert or who loves or works with introverts.

As an introvert, I had a feeling I was going to enjoy this book. And I was really blown away by how much I did. It's not just because the book is encouraging to introverts for all the ways we feel misunderstood. This book is thoroughly researched yet presented with very approachable writing. Cain mixes individual stories to illuminate with research about the science of temperament and personality. My favorite portion was a chapter that included a longitudinal study of children and their reactions to new stimuli, showing that infants whose brains were highly reactive to news stimuli grew up to have more introverted personalities. In other words, some introversion could be related to one's neurological sensitivity to the world around you. I'm fascinated by these ways our neurology and psychology interact.

Really interesting book. I'm pretty introverted, so it was interesting to get a bit of insight into some of it. I feel like I need to read this multiple times to really understand it all.

Un excellent livre, très bien sourcé et documenté, sur l'introversion.

Susan Cain y explique comment l'idéal extraverti a été mis en valeur depuis le début du XXe siècle, au moins dans le monde occidental, et comment cette valorisation d'un idéal qui ne leur ressemble pas impacte la vie et la santé mentale des introvertis.

L'autrice mêle habilement des éléments tirés de recherches plus ou moins récentes en psychologie et des histoires de vie d'introverties qu'elle a rencontrés dans le cadre de ses recherches sur le sujet.

Susan Cain ne se contente pas de dresser un constat et de décrire les traits de personnalité et le fonctionnement des introvertis, elle propose également des clefs pour mieux vivre son introversion. Elle le fait avec des exemples concrets, ce qui est appréciable.

J'ai beaucoup aimé ce livre, parce que je me suis évidemment reconnu dans ce portrait de l'introverti minoritaire dans une société qui valorise l'idéal extraverti. J'aurais sans doute aimé le lire il y a bien longtemps, pour m'aider à accepter ce trait de caractère et mieux vivre avec. Ce livre me semble en tout cas un bon moyen de déculpabiliser celles et ceux qui ne se reconnaissent pas dans l'idéal extraverti mis en avant dans notre société occidentale.

This is the book I wish I had read in grade school. Growing up, I always thought of the largest difference between introverts and extroverts to be quiet vs outgoing. The difference though is much more complex. The premise of this book is the idea that extroverts get energy from crowds, while it costs introverts energy to interact. The idea that some introverts even enjoy speaking because they value getting their message across more than their distake for public speaking hit close to home for me.

Started off well but descended into generalisations based on anecdotes, with some pretty broad conclusions, all with the usual caveat of ‘of course this isn't true of all introverts'. The chapter on group working makes some dreadful errors of logic and it worries me that people will start quoting this as an excuse not to collaborate with others.

Another unexpected addition to my read pile and I have to say that this was a nice way to end the year. As a self confessed introvert who hates socializing but can fake being a loud and talkative person when very necessary, I found this pretty relatable. I liked the science behind the personality and behavioral types even if I didn't always understand it. And I know I'm not a bad person for wanting to be alone and cherishing my solitude many times but sometimes it's nice to see someone else say that. I did particularly find something to ponder about when the author was talking about introvert-extrovert couples and how to behave with introvert and shy children, so maybe I will come back to the author's advise in these matters if and when I need them in the future. Overall a good book but may not be for everyone. The audiobook was also narrated quite well.

The level of discussion is rather low: unconvincing & unscientific.

The book for the introvert in you that does not seem to fit in society models advertising what life should be. Susan tells us that is ok to be an outsider, and also that you can live your life without shame and to its fullest potential. Totally recommended.

Not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn't it. It was better; much better. Well written in a quiet (what else?) but gripping voice, [a:Cain 4101935 Susan Cain http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1315319296p2/4101935.jpg] skilfully lets us see the worlds of introverts and extroverts... in ways that I think both will understand. (Speaking as the former, I believe I have a much better understanding of the latter. As well as of my own self). New information about personality styles, how early they manifest, tools for remaining true to oneself, and perhaps most importantly advice on communicating and empathizing with the other type.Well researched and documented. Interesting and illuminating anecdotes. And throughout it all a tone of compassion and even curiosity. I was not expecting to learn so much or enjoy it so much. I feel surprised to say this, but this is one of those rare books that I think I'll be recommending to nearly everyone.

3.5 stars

Svært så interessant, og en vekker for meg som skal legge til rette for best mulig læringsmiljø i et klasserom. Boken bør spesielt leses av ekstroverte folkehøgskolefolk som tror at danning og læring bare er noe som kan foregå når man har det gøy og roper høyest mulig.
Jeg hadde gitt boken 5 stjerner hadde det ikke vært for de to siste kapitlene, som gjerne kunne vært kuttet ut. Det er analysen som er interessant, veien videre må jeg nesten finne ut av selv, og ikke overlate til ellers så dyktige Susan Cain.

‘Quiet' attempts to dispel the notion that you've to be an outgoing & gregarious person that's the life of a party to be successful in life. As Cain backs up with several examples that many successful people have been avowed introverts, she leads you down the path of providing research-backed conclusions that dissuades you from trying to be whom you're not. Being an introvert is not the same as being anti-social. For the former, social interactions for a prolonged time can be mentally and emotionally exhausting and just as an extrovert thrives on more interactions, an introvert has an upper limit on the time he/she can spend with people before retiring into their own homes for peace and quiet.

The ideas on productivity including teamwork, brainstorming, and open-office collaboration are simply myths that research has proven to not yield results unless the collaboration is done online (creating Wikipedia, etc.) The best work is often done on your own before sharing it with others. I've often done my best work on my own even to the extent of doing my design dissertation in my architecture undergrad years when my peers took help of several of our juniors.

Cain offers plenty of strategies to introverts who may want to ‘act' as extroverts in a world where gregariousness is considered a must-have asset. Introverted people in professions that need you to be extroverts often tend to over-prepare which even makes them more reliable and better at their work instead of an extrovert who may decide to ‘wing' it.

That said, Cain doesn't consider being introvert a necessary attribute for success in life but she emphasizes that it need not be a debilitating one.

I highlighted this book heavily. It's filled with interesting ideas about how to traverse life as an introvert living in a world that values extroversion as the social ideal (in business, school, etc). I enjoyed the mix of anecdotal and research-based evidence for each new idea that Cain presents.

I learned quite a bit reading this book, but I don't know that it was terribly actionable. While there was a neat bow wrapped around everything at the end, it felt too tidy.