Reasons to Stay Alive

Sometimes the only thing that keeps me from drowning completely in a sea of darkness is knowing that someone else understand this, that there is someone else who experiences the infinite black ocean with me. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is the thought that I am not as alone as my mind wants me to believe.

Depression is hard to explain, but Matt Haig does it justice here. He knows, and this book genuinely made me cry for him and for me and for everyone else that has ever felt this pain.

Matt Haig est un écrivain anglais que je ne connaissais pas jusque ce que je découvre ce livre. Dans Reasons to Stay Alive, publié en 2015, il livre son témoignage sur la dépression et l'anxiété dont il a souffert depuis l'âge de 24 ans.

Ce livre est difficile à juger d'un point de vue littéraire, mais à mon sens totalement utile, pour plusieurs raisons.

C'est d'abord un témoignage très personnel d'un auteur qui se livre et se dévoile. Je peux aisément imaginer à quel point oser écrire ce livre a pu être difficile pour Matt Haig. C'est le récit d'une expérience propre à l'auteur, même si nombreux sont les lecteurs qui y reconnaissent leur propre vécu face à la dépression et à l'anxiété.

C'est aussi un livre qui a pour objectif, comme son titre l'indique, de donner aux autres des raisons de vivre, c'est-à-dire de montrer à celles et ceux qui souffrent de dépression qu'il est possible d'aller mieux, de traverser cette période sombre et d'en sortir, différent mais vivant.

C'est également un livre destiné à ceux qui connaissent mal ou pas du tout les maladies gravitant autour de la santé mentale, ou qui en ont des idées préconcues. Ce n'est pas le premier livre qui tente de s'adresser à eux, mais Matt Haig le fait ici avec une fluidité et une justesse que j'ai envie de saluer.

C'est enfin un livre à la fois clair et obscur, qui ne cache rien des difficultés traversées par l'auteur mais montre aussi un chemin vers une situation apaisée. Pas parfaite, pas une guérison totale, mais une situation apaisée.

Je ne sais pas comment j'aurais perçu ce livre si je l'avais lu il y a deux ou trois ans, quand je me débattais dans les pires moments de ma propre dépression. Ce qui est sûr, c'est que lire aujourd'hui les mots de Matt Haig, alors que j'ai parcouru une partir du chemin qu'il décrit, m'a mis en face de quelque chose de connu, avec cette pointe de réconfort quand on se dit qu'on n'est pas seul à avoir vécu cela.

“There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet.”

If I'm very conflicted on how to rate this book. I've had quite a few problems with it. But it feels wrong to blast someone's personal account of their struggle with mental illness. Because this is what this book is, a memoir.

I feel that the title and the marketing were slightly misleading to me as I went into thinking it will go more into the existential question that opens the summary of this book “What does it mean to feel truly alive?” I thought it would try to approach this topic more universally, both from his personal experience and from the perspective of the research I'd assumed he's made on this topic. However, when it comes to answering this question there's no more than a list of the things that he enjoys and that make him feel alive and a few Twitter responses from random people.

The rest of the book is a breakdown of the sudden episode of depression that occurred when he was 24 years old. I noticed a lot of people were upset about his privileged background and how he had a strong support system made of his loving girlfriend and parents who practically carried him for a good while until he figured out how to stop being a living dead. But it's not like he can do anything about that. It's his personal experience. What I chose to take from this is that love is a powerful tool and that I have to cherish every moment of it is my personal life and that hopefully this will always keep me afloat while figuring out what can make me feel better.

Nonetheless, even taking this as a memoir I didn't feel fully satisfied with the content. From my perspective, it was too brief and superficial for such a heavy topic. I do understand that this was a very difficult thing to talk about, the author mentions several times that he was quite terrified about writing this book as he was afraid that it would trigger another grueling episode of depression. I can respect this fear. However, I, personally, needed more substance and I could tell he was holding back. There few part of the book that truly spoke to me, but many times I felt he was just barely scratching the surface. I wanted to know more of the why and the how. I suppose it all comes down to expectations. I was expecting too much from this book.

However, I can see how it can be valuable for a lot of people. I have had an interest in mental health and systems since I was a teenager. Since then I've been passionate about figuring out what makes me “Me”, what makes me behave how I behave, have the thoughts I have. But a lot of people don't have the experience of this quest so this book could be a good start. Whether they are struggling with their own “demons” or they want to understand better those of their loved ones, this book can offer some insight and hope.

“If you are the type of person who thinks too much about stuff then there is nothing lonelier in the world than being surrounded by a load of people on a different wavelength.”“The key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but don't become them. Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person. You can walk through a storm and feel the wind but you know you are not the wind.”

A quick, simple book filled with easy vignettes of depression and recovery. While it feels a bit trite to me now, I could see it being very valuable (though perhaps triggering?) when depressed. There are some beautifully shareable quotes as well.

This book made me cry tears of happiness and understanding. For those of us living with depression, this book is a real relief, a way to know you're not the only one going through this, but also a wonderful and powerful message of hope. It's quite unique, way far from a simple self help book or overview, something really stronger, a way to understand that it's possible to go through it, to tame it, and to overcome depression and appreciate life at its fullest. If you're reading this review and suffer from depression, don't hesitate, read this book, it'll help you in ways you can't image.

Not going to rate this. It is way too personal for every reader.

This is the writing of a person with the lived experience of depression as it can be described only by someone who has truly been there. So many of the author's anecdotes resonated for me. It sounds cliche, but I feel seen.

3.5 stars Because sometimes you just need a reminder that it always gets better. “Be brave. Be strong. Breathe, and keep going.”Quotes that resonated with me:- Umbrella labels like ‘depression' (and ‘anxiety' and ‘panic disorder' and ‘OCD') are useful, but only if we appreciate that people do not all have the same precise experience of such things.- But there is a difference between liking books and needing them. I needed books.- Read a book without thinking about finishing it. Just read it. Enjoy every word, sentence, and paragraph. Don't wish for it to end, or for it to never end.

4.5

I've been listening to Reasons to Stay Alive as an audiobook for days now, listening to the entire book, starting again at the beginning and listening again, and doing that again, and I've just finished copying three pages of quotes from the book into my journal where I can think about them and write about them, and I think it's time that I write a review of this book.

There is no way I can do this book justice. But I want to try.

I had two terrible rounds with depression and I have struggled (still struggle) with anxiety. The first round was in seventh grade when I started a new school, but it magically lifted as I made friends and became more social. It hit me hard my first year in college, when I knew no one and spoke to no one and fell deeper and deeper into the abyss. It was my uncle who recognized it in me (his wife had suffered with depression all her life) and it was he who encouraged me to take action, to do something different, that ultimately eased me out of the pit.

This book, had I read it when I was 12 or 18, would have saved my life. Haig dares to reveal the details of his time lost in that pain and shares wonderful helpful ways to claw your way out of that awfulness. He uses vivid imagery to share the experience, and I nod my head, remembering (Oh, yes, I recall walking around with my head on fire, with no one to see the flames). Humor tames the demon, somehow, and sharing the experience lets us know that we are not alone, and offering up ways to fight a return to that hell helps.

Thank you, Matt Haig.

I'm really loving Haig's writing. Needed to get out of my reading rut and this nonfiction was fantastic when it comes to the topics of anxiety and depression in mind. definitely a good listen

If anyone wants to know how it feels to suffer from depression and anxiety, this is a perfect example of one man's experience. He lets the reader hear his inner dialogue and explains the disease of depression without sounding patronizing.

a genuine-feeling, encouraging little memoir.

it's a quick read. it wouldn't be the worst choice if you're someone struggling with your mental health and are looking for something to relate to for the first time. you may find it helpful.

if you've read the midnight library, you'll find similar elements between it and this memoir. no staggering insights, but it's fun to connect the dots.

he does romanticize the idea of depression and anxiety as being things that help show the true beauty of life and conductive to creativity and greatness. i think there is some truth to that. but it's also a dangerous notion, the idea that if only you could live with these terrible, dark things within you, flirting with them, you will be a stronger person.

which isn't to say it's impossible to manage your anxiety and depression on your own. but if it's severely affecting your life, if you have the resources to i highly recommend finding a therapist you're compatible with, which can be an entire ordeal by itself, and considering if medication would be helpful.

it was okay.

Sometimes it helps just to know there is another soul out there who understands, even if our stories are different and our personal battles are distinct to each individual. Matt Haig bares his battles and soul in this short, but profound book and in doing so sheds light on the often difficult subject of depression and anxiety in a way that made me go: ‘me too!'. This book isn't a ‘how to' or ‘magical remedy', but rather a heartfelt and encouraging story of the fears, trials and triumphs of living with a disease of the mind. With the overwhelming message of there ARE ‘Reasons to Stay Alive', even in your darkest moments and when you think you've failed, and maybe some small insights on how to find your own personal reasons in this crazy fast-paced world we live in. I found great comfort in Matt's story and definitely some thought-provoking ways to use his lessons in my life to manage my own battles.

it worked for me in pandemic time.

If you know depression and/or anxiety intimately, this book is a mirror. If you don't, I suspect it's a pretty good bit of insight. It's said to be partly self-help, but it's mainly memoir - the comfort it provides is in illustrating that someone else has felt the same agony and survived it. The author is clear that what works for him may not work for others, and what hasn't worked for him might yet work for others - his goal is to show that there is a way through, and he's done that successfully. He doesn't present how he made it through, but that he did. There is a path; I can't tell you where it is, but have hope, because maybe you'll find it.

3 stars feels harsh, but ultimately I'm rating my experience reading it. I wasn't enamoured by the style - it was like reading a blog. Short chapters for the short attention span of the modern reader. Lots of whitespace, short sentences, lists, pop culture references, and even a chapter of tweets! And there were a lot of quotations - sure, a writer with depression discussing other writers' struggles with depression is relevant - but a lot of the namedropping felt superfluous.

This book is the book. My only sadness is that I didn't discover it sooner. The thing is, the book makes you feel understood in a way nothing else has ever matched. It helps your illness feel validated like you don't have to be guilty anymore for being troubled so much. That validation helps us cope with our troubles.
When you know you're not alone in your struggles, and that you're not in the wrong for experiencing them; it empowers you to fight through and overcome.
For anyone suffering from anxiety, depression or an illness that you don't wish to label; read this book. It will save lives. Even if you just want to understand the intricacies of a suffering mind, it's perfect.