Why Social Connection Holds the Key to Better Health, Higher Performance, and Greater Happiness
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The book we need NOW to avoid a social recession, Murthy’s prescient message is about the importance of human connection, the hidden impact of loneliness on our health, and the social power of community. Humans are social creatures: In this simple and obvious fact lies both the problem and the solution to the current crisis of loneliness. In his groundbreaking book, the 19th surgeon general of the United States Dr. Vivek Murthy makes a case for loneliness as a public health concern: a root cause and contributor to many of the epidemics sweeping the world today from alcohol and drug addiction to violence to depression and anxiety. Loneliness, he argues, is affecting not only our health, but also how our children experience school, how we perform in the workplace, and the sense of division and polarization in our society. But, at the center of our loneliness is our innate desire to connect. We have evolved to participate in community, to forge lasting bonds with others, to help one another, and to share life experiences. We are, simply, better together. The lessons in Together have immediate relevance and application. These four key strategies will help us not only to weather this crisis, but also to heal our social world far into the future. Spend time each day with those you love. Devote at least 15 minutes each day to connecting with those you most care about. Focus on each other. Forget about multitasking and give the other person the gift of your full attention, making eye contact, if possible, and genuinely listening. Embrace solitude. The first step toward building stronger connections with others is to build a stronger connection with oneself. Meditation, prayer, art, music, and time spent outdoors can all be sources of solitary comfort and joy. Help and be helped. Service is a form of human connection that reminds us of our value and purpose in life. Checking on a neighbor, seeking advice, even just offering a smile to a stranger six feet away, all can make us stronger. During Murthy’s tenure as Surgeon General and during the research for Together, he found that there were few issues that elicited as much enthusiastic interest from both very conservative and very liberal members of Congress, from young and old people, or from urban and rural residents alike. Loneliness was something so many people have known themselves or have seen in the people around them. In the book, Murthy also shares his own deeply personal experiences with the subject--from struggling with loneliness in school, to the devastating loss of his uncle who succumbed to his own loneliness, as well as the important example of community and connection that his parents modeled. Simply, it’s a universal condition that affects all of us directly or through the people we love—now more than ever.
Reviews with the most likes.
Great book. Very anecdotal which helped a lot. Loved all the examples. Gave me much to introspect.
Beautiful, necessary, and eerily timely. This isn't about introversion or extroversion, nor solitude nor mingling nor quiet: it's about humans as social primates whose entire shtick is our ability to cooperate with each other – and who need one another. He has studied our growing isolation and is concerned about it... and consider that his book was written before COVID. There is much more to be alarmed about today.
He touches on many of my hot-button issues: tribalism, toxic masculinity, compassion, listening. (I was disappointed that he never referred to Sarah Blaffer Hrdy's nor Robert Sapolsky's work. Can't have it all). He writes with humility and kindness, also engagingly with many touching anecdotes from his professional life but more importantly his personal one. His words move me and have left me thinking deeply about my own relationships.
This is a book for all of us. If you think you're already well connected, you can learn to do more. If you think you're a recluse and want to squirrel yourself away from the world, ... well, you might not be as much as you think you are. I encourage you to give it a try. If you can't take the time for a book, can you spare fifty minutes? Listen to his lovely interview on the Hidden Brain podcast. Highly recommended – it's what got me to order and read the book.