What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

Reviews and more on my blog: Entering the Enchanted Castle

I loved this book and want to read it again and take better notes. I think that the new approaches to trauma and recovery that have been growing in the last few decades form the most exciting development of the current century. We have an unprecedented potential to get beyond our habitual, unconscious, reactive ways of living, which generally involve hurting ourselves and each other in a misguided attempt to protect ourselves, and lead to an unending cycle of violence and/or disconnected woundedness. We now know that “disconnection is disease,” as Perry puts it, and that connected relatedness is the cure – grounded in a wise understanding of how the human being is built. That is, from the bottom up, starting with bodily sense experience and not with abstract, disjointed concepts that misinterpret and further damage the person to whom we apply them.

Correct thinking is built upon the foundation of healthy, robust, self-regulating, and above all humanly connected body-and-soul experience, and if we don't start to support this development with all the resources at our disposal, we may see the end of civilization at the hands of people with fatally incorrect, damaged thinking. If only the ideas in this book would be taken seriously on every level, from personal relationships to public policy, it would truly change the world. Everyone can make a start with their own lives – I see many of my own habits and those of my family, friends, colleagues and opponents in a new light. I'm excited to see how I can implement more healing practices myself.

I would like to know more about how to work with people who are so sensitized that even the well-meant question “What happened to you?” provokes resistance and denial in them. I think the answer lies in the practices that Perry calls “regulating,” which bring rhythm and balance to a disturbed person. I'll be looking for more resources about this aspect.

Great, great, great! Nearly perfect. I'm a psychologist, and I think I might actually like this even better for the general public than The Body Keeps the Score. Perry & Winfrey's conversational format could have been hokey, but instead it feels fluid and engaging, and there's a fantastic mix of anecdotes (both clinical from Perry's work and Winfrey's interviews, and personal from Winfrey's life), neuroscience, and application. I might change this to a full 5 stars, but for now, I found myself wanting a bit more practical/policy stuff at the end. Still, would recommend this without reservations for anyone who wants to understand trauma, and already have, both to several therapy clients and to multiple colleagues practicing in spaces where trauma-informedness is central.

This book was incredible. I sincerely think everyone should read this.

There's so many aspects covered that go beyond childhood trauma as we commonly know it and would offer useful knowledge to anyone, especially people that might want to have children someday.
I've definitely learned a lot from this book and came to understand myself and my close relationships much more.