Fortunately, the Milk

I look forward to reading this one to my nieces. Neil Gaiman's adult books have been long time favourites, and I was gifted this one as a christmas present. It contains a riotous tale about being abducted by aliens whilst on the way to buy some milk. Ultimately it reads like a funny version of ‘my dog ate my homework'. It is silly, fun and just the sort of thing that kids should enjoy.

Oh, Mr. Gaiman. I don't think it really matters what you write, I will immediately love it. I read this in about 30 minutes, and yet I felt like I read a whole novel. It definitely feels as if you're going on a wild and imaginative journey, like the best children's books do.

The drawings are fun and creative, and they add even more whimsy. I had a good time reading this.

DON'T FORGET TO GET THE MILK.

Neil Gaiman is a man of whimsical and prodigious talents. He is a massive neutron star in the science fiction/fantasy/graphic novel realm. And, rightly so. He has amassed close to 2 million followers on twitter and not because of just his name. He connects with his fans and seems to generally appreciate them. Not only that, he is an authors “author.” Many authors look up to him and emulate his style. People love him and his work.

If you haven't connected with his middle-grade stories you really should. Coraline and the Graveyard Book are precise and whimsical storytelling with an edge of scary and unnerving. Not enough to be inappropriate, but enough to show kids of that age bracket that not all is sunshine and rainbows in the world. He treats kids like they have a brain, thoughts and emotions and ideas worth challenging. It is smart writing through and through.


Even when he puts random ideas in a bucket and pulls them out one at a time, he can seamlessly craft an entertaining and memorable story. Thus enters Fortunately, The Milk. The premise is simple, it is the story of what happened to dad when he went to the corner store to get milk, and why he was late. In the vein of Paul Bunyan, it is a true tall tale.

Or is it?

Examples of creatures and other awesome things found in this book:

Time traveling dinosaurs
Hot Air Balloons
Sentient Volcano
Pirates
Piranhas
Aliens
Milk

This story is the absurd, the fantastical, the amazing, and is quite possibly real.

“I mean, what if this really happened to dad?”

“He was gone a very long time.”

“Dad is an incredible guy, it could happen?”

That is the point of this story, the “what if?” Absurdly fun to read for both adults and kids. Don't miss it.

Also, as a small side note on the illustrations. If you look in the background at the pictures on the wall, and other details you can see where dad is getting his tale from. A la The Usual Suspects.

I read this book in about 20 minutes this morning.

I can't wait to share this book with my students.

I am a well-known Gaiman fangirl who regularly gushes about how awesome is works are, but that is immaterial

You should read this one if you have kids, like kids, or just keep a solid relationship with your inner kid.

Gaiman Fangirl out.

Moeder moet naar een conferentie, een toespraak over hagedissen doen. Vader is alleen met de kinderen, en hij heeft een lijst gekregen van wat hij moet doen en niet mag vergeten: de kinderen moeten naar koor en orkest op zaterdag, vioolles woensdag, er zit avondeten in de diepvries voor elke dag dat ze weg is, de reservesleutel ligt bij de buren, maandag komt de loodgieter en niemand mag het toilet boven gebruiken tot hij geweest is, de goudvis moet eten krijgen. Oh, en er moet ook melk gehaald worden.

De eerste avond loopt het al een beetje mis: het ontdooien lukt niet zo goed, en dus gaan ze ze maar bij de Indiër en krijgen de kinderen chocomelk voor ze in bed kruipen.

Toen was er nog melk.

Zaterdagochtend is er géén melk meer, en dus gaat vader naar de kruidenier om de hoek om een fles melk.

Hij blijft even weg — misschien een kwartier, misschien twintig minuten — en als hij terugkomt, willen de kinderen natuurlijk weten waarom hij zo lang weg bleef. Was hij misschien blijven babbelen met iemand die hij kende en was hij de tijd uit het oog verloren?

Neen, natuurlijk niet. Hij had de fles melk gekocht en hij was op weg naar huis, en toen hoorde hij een geluid boven hem en dan werd hij plots door een vliegende schotel naar boven gezogen — gelukkig had hij de melk in de zak van zijn mantel gestoken.

Zo begint Fortunately, the Milk. Een meer dan herkenbare situatie: vader die kinderen iets wijs maakt. En dan niet opgeeft als er inconsistenties zijn (“hoezo, piranha's in de zee? dat zijn toch zoetwatervissen”) maar er gewoon nieuwe dingen rond vertelt.

Aliens, piraten, een tijdreizende stegosaurus, een vulkaangod — ideaal om voor te lezen aan kinderen, denk ik: een fantastisch verhaal met prachtige tekeningen erbij (ik had de VS-versie vast met illustraties door Skottie Young van de Oz-comics).

Mom heads off to a conference, leaving Dad in charge of the home front. And the kids are dismayed to find that the family is out of milk. Dad heads to the store to replenish the milk supply, and has a whopper of a tale to share when he returns.

Completely delightful. With wonderful illustrations. An instant favorite.

A big thank you to whoever recommended this to me last week.

I listened to this as an audiobook–it's read by the author, which can be hit or miss, but Neil Gaiman is a good reader. Or maybe I just think so because, like all Americans, I love British accents.

This was a quick, funny listen–the audiobook is about an hour long, so it ended just when the repetition was starting to feel a little tedious for me. (To its target audience I think it would feel less predictable.) I see that Skottie Young illustrated it so I kind of want to flip through a print edition just to see them.

The first time I read FORTUNATELY, THE MILK, I was on a road trip with my sister's family. Her kids (9-year-old twin girls, 5-year-old boy) were antsy and bored, and begged to be read to. I had a new book on my Kindle that I thought they might enjoy, though I myself had not read it yet.

I read this book aloud to a carful of people who all ended up listening, whether they'd intended to or not. By the end, everyone was laughing–me, the kids, the kids' parents, and our cousin who had come along for the trip.

As soon as I finished the final words, the kids begged for it to be read again.

So that's how I wound up reading a book aloud, twice in a row, on a car trip, and having more fun than should probably be legal.

FORTUNATELY, THE MILK is fun, light-hearted, full of absurd British humor, and deeply sweet–all about a father's love for his children (and flair for creative storytelling). Read it. I don't care if you're grown. Read it anyway.