Sadie

[6th re-read] so here i am having just read this book for the 6th time making it my most read book ive ever read. This story is important yet so disturbing. It's hard to read this book again and again but Sadie is the character that is on my mind a lot. She is the character that feels so real to me and my heart aches for her but she doesn't exist.. but she does in the women around us and thats the sad part. Definite TW if you ever want to read this but this book changed my life and i think i'll forever love sadie.

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edit: 7/5/21: 5th time reading it and wow. The end made me cry when it didn't cry the 4 previous times. I just love Sadie as a character and I love her and miss her but she's not real
:((((

Edit: 12/10/20: read it again lol

Edit: 21/06/20: Third time reading it and it gets better every time. Out of every book ive ever read, this book has hit me the hardest and makes me feel the most. Sadie is my favourite character of all time and I think about her 24/7

April 2020:
One of the best books to exist and it was better the second time around. I'm so in love with this book

I'm curious to see how the format plays out in text, but as an audiobook, the framing podcast narrative was awesome! The only downside was that tertiary characters were absolutely awful. It was like they blew their production budget on the style and leads and then let anyone off the street come in to record the rest. It was bad enough to take you out of the narrative, but the storyline was so strong and the overall conceit so well done that it's a solid 4. I'm recommending Sadie to students who loved Allegedly and other twisty mysteries with traumatic components.

“I can't take another dead girl.”

I truly can't. In addition, I can't put my feelings about this book into words, but I'll do my best. I read it in one day. I wish there was more. And less. My heart is broken, not just for Sadie and Mattie, but for every child in this sick world. I've been crying for 10 minutes and I can't stop now. Sadie is a masterpiece. It tells the truth about being a child and a teenager and about life in general. It doesn't sugar coat and it doesn't hide. It destroys you and it breaks your heart and I just want to scream at everyone, but you need to read it if you can.

Aside from my heart being ripped out because of the story, let's talk about formatting. Courtney Summers is a genius. This book is half novel, half podcast and I couldn't be happier with it. There is literally a podcast that you can find on your favorite podcast app and listen to. The chapters are alternating between Sadie's first person account and a podcast called The Girls that is, Serial style and Someone Knows Something style, trying to crack the mystery of Sadie's disappearance. If you don't want to listen to the podcast, it is transcribed in the book. I listened and read along because I'm obsessive. And it was perfect.

Would I recommend it?

Yes. I would recommend Sadie to anyone who can handle the following TW: pedophilia, child sexual abuse, mentions of drug use. This is an uncomfortable book. It hurts. But it's worth the read.

I have no words after listening to this book-it has left me shattered. This is a story that is going to stay with me for a long time. The plot was intriguing and gripping-I found myself wanting to stay in my car just to listen a little bit longer. I highly recommend listening to the book-it switches back and forth between a podcast and the main character telling her part. It was a brilliant way to tell Sadie's story.

I really enjoyed the style of this book, with Sadie's perspective contrasted with the narrator of a podcast show investigating her disappearance. The audiobook reminds me of Illuminae, in that the fantastic narrators give it the feel of a radio play. You can feel the struggle as Sadie fights to get words out, even as her mental narrative slides smoothly along, it is beautifully acted. Sadie is a wonderfully complicated character, she feels broken and young, and all of her decisions seems kind of crazy but in a really honest way. She doesn't shy away from hurting herself in her pain and rage, blinded by her single minded focus. With nothing left to lose, why shouldn't she put everything into hunting down her little sister's murderer?

Also enjoyed this interview with the author https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/macmillan/the-girls-find-sadie/e/56218100

I love the way the story is told with early chapters from Sadie and then interspersed with the podcast and as it progressed we get more from the podcast. I ended up caring about Sadie as well as her family. The slow reveal of information made me want to keep reading. The ending is as not what I expected and will stick with me for awhile. I am pretty sure I liked it, but I'm guessing it is not everyone's cup of tea.
If you like a good thriller/mystery with a surprising ending, pick this up.

Gelezen als audioboek

Dit YA-boek stond al een tijdje op mijn lijst. Toen het pas uitkwam, alweer 3 jaar geleden, werd het kapot geprezen, vooral ook het audioboek met zijn volledig cast aan personages.
En het audioboek verdient zeker ook alle lof. Zonder had ik waarschijnlijk het boek niet uitgelezen.

Ik weet het niet goed. Enerzijds greep dit verhaal me wel aan en begrijp ik ten volle het belang dat het wordt verteld. De keuze van de vertellers vond ik ook heel goed gemaakt en had in principe ook voor een hogere betrokkenheidsgraad van de lezer moeten zorgen. Helaas was dit bij mij niet het geval. Doorheen het ganse verhaal voelde ik mij een onverschillige toeschouwer en lukte het mij maar niet om me emotioneel betrokken te voelen met het hoofdpersonage, wat ik eigenlijk wel vreemd vind, gezien alles wat ze meemaakt. Ik wijt dit vooral aan mijn gebrek aan intrige, gezien ik nog weinig mysterieus vond aan het verhaal. Het was van in het begin vrij duidelijk waar het naartoe ging.
Het einde was er eentje wat me normaal zou frustreren, maar in deze context vond ik deze wel gepast en noodzakelijk.

Een belangrijk verhaal, maar jammer van mijn gebrek aan connectie

This book is..... f'ed up. Wow. This is heavy stuff for a YA. Not at all what I expected. The audiobook was very well done. I liked this as an audiobook better than the hardcover. The way the podcast is narrated and how you can hear the progression of Sadie's character in the audiobook is fantastic. The ending is infuriated, but I think well suited to the novel.

TW: Pedophilia, Rape/Sexual abuse, Drug abuse, Murder

At the time I'm writing this review, it's been a couple of days since I finished Sadie, and I still haven't fully processed it. This is one of those stories that seeps into your bones somewhere along the way, and it changes the way you look at the world a little. It is the best mystery—and one of the best books, period—that I have ever read, and it is also one of the bleakest, most devastating reading experiences of my life. If you have read any of my reviews then you know I am very picky with what I choose to pick up. I actually saw this on a BookTube channel and Chelsea did such a good job convincing me that this story is worth the time that I had to pick it up.

You know, going into this story, that Sadie's little sister's body has just been found, and Sadie is on a mission to track down the man she believes is responsible. Besides the fact that it's a story partially told through podcast episodes (which is such an incredible touch), that's all you really need to know. This isn't about what happens so much as it is about coming to know and love Sadie—and to know and love Mattie, too, through her memories. It's about recognizing that the society we live in has this terrifying, grimy layer that nobody wants to talk about, where little girls are never really safe, and children are forced to grow up way too fast, to become adults in replacement of the parents they didn't ask for. Most of all it touched me to the core because it is so believable that it could easily happen to so many of todays young children.

With a mother suffering from addiction, a community that looked the other way far too many times, and a life of barely keeping food on the table, much less having any real opportunities to succeed, Sadie feels like such an old soul. I don't know how many readers will struggle to relate to the age of her inner monologue, but from another woman whose circumstances never quite allowed me to feel like a child, I saw so much of myself in the cynical, pragmatic way Sadie views the world around her. I am not niave to the world around me I know that my mother did an awesome job with me and my sister but I was never really accepted by others easily.

It's hard enough to grow up poor and in a broken family, but Sadie's also queer—she doesn't label herself, but explains her sexuality in ways that heavily point to pansexuality—and she stutters, which forms a barricade between her and the rest of the world. Her representation feels so valid and genuine, and it broke my heart every time she mused about how imprisoned she felt by her struggles with speech.

More than anything else about Sadie's character, though, I loved the fierce, maternal determination she has for taking care of Mattie—and, once Mattie is gone, for finding her killer and dishing out justice. Every memory of Mattie, whether told through her view of their adopted grandmother May Beth's, is beautiful and haunting. The tremendous amount of guilt that Sadie carries as she blames herself for what went wrong had me completely breaking down in passages, and I'll admit without shame that I read the last several chapters through tears. The most brutal part of it all is that, somehow, it feels like Sadie's story could be based on a real girl—no, on countless real girls, all over the world.

Without spoiling the plot, I want to warn you that this book focuses heavily on child abuse and sexual assault, and it is broken down in the most honest, agonizing ways. There's also a solid portrayal of how deceptive abusers can be, as the abusers in question are shown to have fooled so many people. But there's also another side to the representation here, as we see Sadie's intense solidarity with other abused girls, and her desperate need to protect and defend them, even though (perhaps especially though) she feels that she failed to protect and defend her sister.

There's not much else I can tell you now, because I think it's the kind of story that you should go into without too many expectations. Just climb in, let Sadie take you for a ride and tell you her story, and try not to let your heart get too broken in the process. This is a phenomenal story, and I know that I will be thinking about it for a long, long time to come.

Amei! Com uma construção que eu não esperava - peguei sem saber nada da história - o livro me surpreendeu muito ao trazer esse thriller que é a vida (normalmente sem a saga de Sadie) de muitas pessoas - muitas crianças - que precisam de ajuda e é difícil de enxergar no dia a dia. Muito importante e, além de tudo, de fácil leitura e compreensão.

This book hurt to read. It was painfully real, and the characters felt like people I could lift off the page into reality. Some of the development that is revealed along the course of the book really added to the dimensions of the plot and the characters simultaneously.

This was an incredibly crafted story; it didn't miss a beat. It is just shy of a five star book for me, and I strongly recommend it. Depending on how much the story stays with me I may even bump it up.