Thirteen Reasons Why

there are good, inoffensive ways of going about addressing the increased amounts of mental health issues and suicides amongst teens. this is not one of them.

i'm writing this review many years after reading this book, but i remember going into this knowing that i wasn't going to enjoy it. while that sounds really stupid of me, i still read it in the hopes that it was going to surprise me and have a story or a takeaway that hit home or really shined a light on some pressing issues today that lead to teen depression. let me tell you: i did not get that.

i feel bad saying all this, i do, especially since it's a story that i'm sure some people can relate to. but there is no reaction to the tapes or the girl's suicide that really round out the story and make it a lesson. i wanted there to be some sort of solidarity between the people she left behind, a movement that she creates through the tapes to prevent further suicides, a higher reason for her suicide besides just making people feel bad for the way they treated her. this book had potential to be so much more, but fell short, and it's utterly disappointing.

don't @ me about the tv series, which i will not touch, not even with a 500-meter long stick.

Do not read this if you have any mental illnesses. I REPEAT: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE ANY MENTAL ILLNESSES. This story screams of “written by a neurotypical,” and most people I know who enjoy this book have no idea what extreme mental illness, depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, etc. look like. I'm lucky as hell I am not suicidal or severely depressed, but I have a good friend who is and this book fucked her up. And that doesn't even come close to the show.

The writing isn't bad. It's the idea that upsets so many (including MH Professionals). I don't think Asher intended to hurt anyone, and he's not a bad writer, but the idea is the epitome of “suicide can be a revenge act! Off yourself and everyone will be sorry they were mean to you!” - which sadly makes an impression on the impressionable (kids, young girls and boys in HS or MS).

I'm assuming that not having a whole lot of insight into Hannah's character was sort of the point of this book, and I get that, but it made it hard to get into. Especially since all we end up knowing about Clay is that he is apparently one of only two decent people in the entire high school (both guys, just saying), and he lives somewhere that there are both buses and it's totally safe for 17 year olds to wander around at night. I get the intent behind the ending, but ... ugh.

BLUF: Great book, but does not provide usable insights into depression. (Inaccurate descriptions do a disservice to the disease.)

Plot:Thirteen Reasons Why comes into play after Clay Jensen receives a box of cassette tapes in the mail. These tapes detail the reasons leading up to Hannah Baker's, fellow student and former crush of Clay, suicide. She dictates that these tapes be passed on student to student in the order that they are mentioned in the tape – and has a watchdog to ensure that this occurs, or else. (Ha, I couldn't resist, sorry.) If not passed on, her watchdog will mass distribute these tapes – causing embarrassment for every person mentioned within.

My Thoughts:I won't lie to you; I absolutely adore this audio book. I love the way this book was written. I hung onto every word until the end. Jay Asher is a good writer* and I can't wait to discover other books from him.

Thankfully, Clay Jensen is as obsessed with figuring out Hannah's reasons as I was and doesn't dwell much on his life outside of the tapes, unless he has to. Damn outside distractions. (I say that, but the distractions all added to the story.)

Here is the elephant in the room (aka, my thoughts on Hannah): I can't relate with Hannah. There, I said it. I, who has depression to the point of being suicidal, cannot relate to this teen. What gives?She blames her depression on everyone else. This is not how most people experience depression. People do lash out at others, but typically slip into self-loathing soon after. For someone to craft hours of tape, attempt humor in these tapes, and then to follow through with sending them – I don't buy it.She takes minor situations and exaggerates them. This is accurate with my depression. I can remember, as a kid, crying because I may have hurt the concrete's feelings by walking on it. Or worse – crying because I may have hurt the concrete's feelings by not walking on it. As a teen, crying because I made a joke that the other person took as a joke, but maybe they somehow misinterpreted it and didn't show it. As an adult, just hating myself for every conversation I had – even the simple “Hi, how are you?”s. I can honestly say that I have never thrown my depression towards someone else for an extended period of time. Sure, I've been angry, but for reasons not tied to my depression.She makes readers apathetic towards her and her depression. She makes readers think that it's her fault for how she feels, for being ridiculous. I have mixed feelings on this. Depression is ridiculous. Just look at my exaggerated feelings above. It's not logical. It's laughable. It's, unfortunately, real to us. Even worse, we make helping us impossible for others. So, as much as I hate to say it, this portion of her personality is pretty damn accurate – we make it damn hard to relate, love, and help us.This girl offers no lessons to the readers. She is atypical in her depression. She is petty. She is not relatable even by those of us who have depression. She makes readers think that they should not bother helping those who are depressed because there is not point – they have already decided that they are going to kill themselves and nothing is going to change that.These aspects are very disappointing and I truly hope that this is not the lesson that sticks with the readers.In the End: I know it's weird to like a book about a subject that it inaccurately portrays, but Asher captivated me. While I thought Hannah was petty and misguided, her story is well told. I wanted to know how it ended, even when she was crafting the reasons for her death.*Cannot speak to grammar, punctuation, etc.Medication works wonders – I'm not at risk.

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It's a good premise, backed by solid writing. I read it in one sitting.

I read it in one sitting not because I was loving it. It was suspenseful, yes. Though that feels like the wrong word for this. Suspenseful makes me think of the best mysteries and thrillers. I read this in one sitting out of a need to just have it end, and I frequently wanted it to be over. Likely, this was due to the basic theme hitting too close to home, therefore not a problem with the book itself.

Her reasons, as pointed out by other reviews, are not exactly believable. They are more believable when placed in the context of a teenager's life, where every emotion seems to feel so much stronger than it should, be it good or bad. I bought it enough to get invested, and I found the story as a whole emotionally powerful.

Why three stars, then? Simple. I am not a professional reviewer, I don't review books based on how good they are objectively. I review them based on how much I like them, how they make me feel. For whatever reason, this book made me feel bad. Frustrated, at both the flaws in the book and the fact that not one person saw the signs and helped. I don't know. That's often true in real life, people miss the signs and things happen. I have seen that happen, unfortunately.

Still, I got nothing out of this book. It wasn't a happy book, making me feel good. It wasn't an honestly poignant and emotional book that made me feel something genuine. It was sad. Just sad, but not the right mix of sad and poignant. Just sad. Despair. Angst. Not for me.

I... I'm not quite sure how I feel. I read it quite quickly. I liked it, but I feel like it was missing something. It has very dark, sad subject matter, but I loved the last book I read (Love Is the Higher Law) and it had sad subject matter as well. The difference between these two books, though, is that I finished Love Is the Higher Law - and even It's Kind of a Funny Story, which is also about a suicidal teen - feeling uplifted, and I finished this feeling like I just read a good story, but emotionally deflated. I suppose that's fitting though. It's real.

Was disappointed. Have mixed feelings about this book.Suicide and mental health are serious issues, and I'm glad there are books that address it. I can see how this would be a powerful book for teens. I understand how seemingly trivial things can snowball and weigh one down over time, but I felt like there was a lot missing somehow. And where were the parents? Other adults? 

i finally managed to finish this book. it didnt take me that long because it was boring or tedious to read, no, i just wanted to be in the right mood for reading it and the last few months just weren't right for it.

but honestly, this book is lovely. i loved the format and i was hooked immediately. 10/10 would read again

Re-read in 2023:
New rating: 4 stars

This book isn't perfect and there are many people that say that it glorifies suicide. To some extent that is true. I think Jay Asher could have strengthened the messaging in the book in order to unequivocally say that it wasn't the answer, however I think most people read this book and see Hannah Baker as the main character. I've read reviews say that it's hard to empathize and connect with her, and that this is a bad thing. She comes off as whiny and looking for an excuse to suicide herself.
Some of these things may be true and valid, however, I think they are intentional.

The reader is not supposed to be able to connect and empathize with Hannah. She is gone. She is dead. She is unreachable and untouchable. She is a voice only to be listened to. We get Clay's perspective. He is the voice of reason and the voice telling the reader that things may not always be as bad as they seem to be. He is the voice saying suicide is not the answer and there are people there who support you and are willing and wanting to love you.

I think this book shows just how irrational suicide really is and how we all understand and internalize things differently. For some, something is small and meaningless, while to others, that same thing is huge and all-consuming. It is not up to us to determine these things for other people. They are just as valid thinking and feeling the way they do as the way we do. Suicide and depression don't usually operate rationally. Things get bent out of shape and the smallest things prove to the sufferer that life is not worth living.

Again, I think this book is not perfect. It's messaging can be hard for some people, and ultimately, I think it makes some people uncomfortable, thinking that they have a much larger role to play in someone's life. In a highly individualistic society, such as the United States, we often think that people should be able to handle everything alone and that the world is just and fair, when really, this world is different for everyone. We need empathy for each other. This book shows that, stating multiple times that Hannah doesn't fully blame people, but she records these messages for people to understand that they impacted someone's life in ways that they may not have known.

Clay is the eyes and ears of the reader. He does not have much personality and this can come off as boring to some readers.

This is a heavy topic, and as stated above, people may feel uncomfortable with it (for the reason provided previously or just the fact that it's a very heavy, sad, deep topic). Everyone has a different experience with mental illness, depression, and suicidality. That is all okay. Everyone is totally fine to have their opinion, however, as Clay does at the end of the story, we need to open our eyes, think about who we see around us, then open our mouths and speak, letting people know that we see them and they are there, and we value and care for them in ways that we may not have expressed previously.

I have mixed feelings about this book. I feel that the author's efforts to educate us about our affect on other people is valid and true. I think it's especially important we learn this by middle school and high school. We never know how much we hurt or help others by our actions.
I am a little concerned that this story portrays suicide as a way of punishing or getting back at others for the pain that they cause. I think that this idea is dangerous and often inaccurate but I worry that some people will judge others with suicidal thoughts as a way of being malicious rather than a deep abyss that people often leaves others desperate.

4/5

I decided to give this a read because I heard nothing but good things with the Netflix adaptation. So I thought to myself... if the Netflix show was well-received, maybe the source material is also very good? And there I was...picking this book up after a long time sitting around in my book shelf.

I finished this book overnight, yes OVERNIGHT, and that's actually something good. I finished it because it was very compelling. The way the story Hannah's story unfolds, the perfect pacing, and Jay Asher's writing. I can somewhat see Stephen King's influence on him with this book. It's a powerful book and it was an emotional ride with this one. I felt sadness, joy, rage, happiness, disgust, etc. It's a book that addresses the issues of suicide and bullying without getting it right INTO your face.

It's a book that should be read by everyone! By everyone I mean not just teens/pre-teens, as well as adults and parents who have children going through adolescence. Reading this book will make you understand them more, and also realize how one misdemeanor can have a long-lasting negative effect on a person. The topics in this book are not light and not easy to discuss.

With all that being said, I'm now ready to watch the Netflix original series. I got my feels ready!